So the summitt of the Catholic faith got screwed up by me. A couple of times in fact. Here are the tales:
So to keep in tradition, a little back-story first. I can never tell a short story it seems. As a Methodist, communion was a little odd for me. In fact it was held once a month and I tried to avoid church on those Sunday's. Mostly because I knew I wasn't baptized, so it felt weird to go up there with my family, being the lone one out. I felt like I was dong something wrong. I still went up and took communion at times and nobody yelled at me- but it was always weird for me.
So fast-forward to like my second mass ever. At least the second mass ever when I had intended to become Catholic. I had actually been to Catholic masses several times before with various friends throughout high school and college. But anyway, I was encouraged by a Catholic friend the night before to go up during Holy Communion and this time cross my arms in front of my chest to partake in a spiritual communion. I was a little unsure about this whole process- "Are you SURE that is okay?" and "What's going to happen?" were just a few of my silly questions I asked her. But anyway, the time was here to go up for spiritual communion......and I chickened out. lol But it was because the priest had switched sides on me!! He was on the opposite side from last week and some other eucharistic minister (I am sure I didn't know they were called this at the time) was on my side. And I had convinced myself they would not know what to do. So I didn't go up. Ugh.
BTW, I still don't know the answer to that question. What would the Eucharistic Minister do? Bless them? This was actually a common problem I had during the RCIA process. Thankfully, Fr. Mike usually stayed on the left side so 95% of the time I did go up for a spiritual communion. Which is where I still sit to this day.
So yes that was confusing. But now I don't have to worry about it. : )
Here is another story about Holy Communion:
This was also during RCIA, more specifically during my first Holy Week. Ahhhhhhh, Holy Week. I remember thee fondly. I actually think it was during Holy Thursday mass. I was really into this mass. I am not going to lie, on a few occasions I am just not completely there. It doesn't happen a lot but it does happen. Then there are times that I am super into mass. Thank you, Holy Spirit. This was how this day was going. We get to the second part of mass, and I am getting ready to partake in a spiritual communion. Like I am all in, wrapped up in stuff. I get up for the Eucharistic Feast, walking and praying. I get up to Fr. Mike. We both just kind of stare at each other. He looks confused. Why? Oh crap, my arms aren't crossed. I had them in prayer mode. But after we both kind of get our act together, he blesses me and I go on my merry way. Awww so close. jk so yeah that was a little embarassing. But I was just glad it was a priest I knew, so he would know that I wasn't actually Catholic...yet. Give me two days. : )
Okay then the next story happens two days later. Yeah, I am just that good. Okay, so it's the big day. I should really blog about this day sometime, because I actually haven't not even in my "old stuff". It truly was a day full of blessings and love. It started perfectly and ended perfectly. Coffee shop to Church. lol
Anyway, I was super excited for the Easter Vigil Mass. I was also super nervous...about stupid stuff. Mostly, I just thought I'd do something wrong in front of everyone. I even went into the church earlier that day to run through a few things with Fr. Mike and the servers. And I still didn't feel completely prepared. Becasue that is how I am. : ) lol
But the Easter Vigil mass came and I had just got through my baptism and confirmation unscathed. In fact, I was brand new! No words can describe this......honestly so AMAZING. So I thought I had got through all the standing in front of people, center of attention stuff. So I had told my sponsor and friend, Emily S. that I wanted her to switch me spots when we took our seats again. I believe this happened while we were standing at the front. Oh funny me. You see, I don't really like being the center of attention and while this stuff was once in a lifetime, amazing, glorious, beautiful stuff, I still didn't want to be the first one to take Holy Communion. So my plan worked, she was on the outside now and I could second. Then Father says, oh well since this is a special occasion, we are going to let Kasie and Eric take communion first. WHAT!!
Plan was foiled. So I kind of smile and laugh a little with Emily. And go up for my first Eucharistic Feast. I wish I remembered it better. The whole night is a bit of a blur of all sorts of emotions. And this is the blurriest. I think that as I walked up there my mind shut off. I have no idea what I was thinking. I did bow. But then, I kind of opened my mouth and held out my hands at the same time. I realized at this time I really hadn't thought through how I wanted to receive Jesus. I mean I have studied and planned constantly for months and I forgot this?! Father Mike tried putting it into my mouth but then into my hand, and I confused the altar server. Oh man! Then Father kind of laughs and smiles and I hold out my hands. Amen. Success. And then, I chance a glance at my family and friends as I walk over to the wine, and can definitely tell I am going to get crap about this later. Embarrassing? Oh yeah, but well worth the wait and the mess up!
I apologized to Fr. Mike after mass, and he totally thought it was the server. It was totally my fault though. Nice guy. : ) And yes, I was given crap about this after mass. They thought it was humorous. But I didn't care because I just felt beyond blessed to have them all there to share that moment with me.
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