A Post Without A Point....Until the End.

So interesting happenings at my second home here of late. In horticulture and then in one of my welding classes. Let's start with the poets in my welding class.

Random (very odd) conversation as the bell rang, which I believe stemmed from facebook and those picture sayings that people post to their walls:

Boy #1: I like this saying, "The choices you make today, make you who you are tomorrow."

Boy #2: Oh yeah.....

Me: You guys are turning into girls on me.  (Joking....sorta but not really)

Boy #1: Whatever Bogart, it's in the Bible.

Me: That is not in the Bible. I am 100% positive that is not in the Bible.

Boy #2: Yeah it is.....it's in John........like John 6....... or wait......

Boy #1: It's John 3:16. Don't you have a Bible?

Me:  I don't know scripture but I do know John 3:16 and it is NOT John 3:16. That is like one of the most well-known bits of the Bible ever and it does not say that.....

Ahhhh welding boys. You just got to love them I guess. Even when they are being turds. Apparently, they are convinced that I have a Bible in my desk. Which I don't. That's in my car, in the purple bag. :) However, my desk does have two missalettes that Fr. Mike gave from way back when I only knew the "Our Father". Ha.

Then in Horticulture class. We were reviewing some flower parts and dissecting flowers. Plus, for this particular unit I have them watch a short 20 minute "Magic School Bus Goes to Seed" cartoon. Btw, Ms. Frizzle has a fantastic laugh......just youtube it.  Well, the last two class periods a group of my students have pretended to pray at various parts in my lesson. For example, right before the Magic School Bus clip they held hands at their table and bowed their heads and said who knows what.

Hmmmmm. Yes, I laughed. I do that often when I don't want to laugh. Two of them are some of my officers. Which means I think they at least semi know where I stand when it comes to being a Christian. And I don't take my faith lightly.

You know, normally I am all about praying. I do it all the time. I pray in class and school on a day-to-day basis sometimes even hour-by-hour basis. But you never see me create a prayer circle or mock praying. I guess it just kind of gets on my nerves at this point. Only because they are pretend praying. I guess we will see where this goes......

If only this post had a point. :)

But speaking of prayers: If you have some to spare, send them my way. : ) I would appreciate it greatly and after tonight I realize I need them even more.

And finally some good stuff. Like hardcore prayer stuff I like......and struggle with. A part of a prayer to my Momma Mary I both love and am afraid of at the same time:

"May the continuous sight of God fill my memory with His presence; may the burning love of thy heart inflame the lukewarmness of mine."

That is like the best line ever. Yes, please. Awesomeness times a hundred!

Then scary......for me:

"As for my part here below, I wish for no other than that which was thine, to believe sincerely without spiritual pleasures, to suffer joyfully without human consolation, to die continually to myself without respite, and to work zealously and unselfishly for thee until death, as the humblest of thy servants."

Yeah, I am most definitely a work in progress on this Momma Mary. : ) Please have patience.

In Christ, through Mary!

Eucharistia #2

Well you can't have a Eucharistia #1 without a Eucharistia #2. So here goes.... yes like the song. But sorry folks I do believe it ends here. : )

I went to mass twice this weekend. Gotta get my practice in with all the new changes you know. : ) Plus, it's Advent!! Actually, I had just finished up a stained glass project at the school and realized it was 5:45. Perfect amount of time to get to mass and then go visit my Mom and Grandma afterwards. One thing about the masses I went to this weekend......one was Saturday and the other was Sunday.....both were without homilies. We watched a video from Bishop Jackels in AC and then in WF we blessed the Advent wreath. So without the guidance of Father Mike or Father Ruben, I had to decipher the readings myself. : ) Which tends to happens about 50% of the time anyhow. lol

Anyway, I don't remember much of the beginning of the first reading. It was from Isaiah and it was long-ish. But then these awesome words entered my head, twice I might add:

"Yet, O LORD, you are our father;
we are the clay and you the potter:
we are all the work of your hands."

This I like!! So let the deciphering begin! But honestly, it's pretty straightforward. However, here's a twist to the straightforward praise-God-in-all-your-good-deeds-and-He-sculpted-us-all-for-a-specific-purpose-translation. And since I was in the "eucharistia mode" a little bit this weekend and since it was talking about clay, metaphorically I might add, I could relate it to my life......in the literal sense. lol  

Besides the Eucharist and God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I am thankful for many things. But if you get right down to it, it once again comes back to God. I am thankful for my talents.....maybe more specifically my hands. Plus the potter reference led me to think about creating. My hands that let me create: be it welding, creating stained glass, drawing pictures with Brynley, painting, arranging flowers, or even simply teaching. I am so very thankful for my hands. He the Potter has made me in the likeness of Him, and apparently I am told "without blemish". Isn't that great? : ) He has crafted me and my talents for some purpose unbeknownst  to me. 

So here's the flip side. Sometimes I wish that I didn't put so much merit into what I was feeling, or that I was more organized, or that I wasn't such a deep thinker...about everything, or that I wasn't this or that. The honest truth is that we all have things we wish to change about ourselves- be in physically, spiritually, emotionally- whatever. And sometimes these can be good changes or even inconsequential changes. But this whole Father/Potter thing sent me a wonderful reminder: it wasn't just any old Patrick Swayze kind of potter that molded us into us. It was THE POTTER. No not Harry. But the Potter of all potters. And fortunately for us He is not about to make some mistake in his creation. 

We are all the work of your hands. 

So realizing this, it just gets me excited. It simplest terms- it makes me want to do lots of good for Him. It should you too. ;) So today forget about what silly modifications to your mold you think you need to add and just be you. The one without blemish. 

Oh, and are you ready for the cheese? Good. In the words of Dr. Seuss: 

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

In Christ, Through Mary. 

Eucharistia #1

Okay let's just see where this little ditty goes.....

Thanksgiving break was spent as I suspect a great many others spent their break- petting squirrels (or bunnies as Cooper like to call it), getting in fights over a blender, and breaking glass with my bare hands. But seriously, it was all just a pretty low-key affair. I did, thankfully, get a lot of rest and relaxation and will NOT be able to sleep tonight. : )

You may have noticed facebook getting all thankful on you this month. People are updating their status left and right telling everyone what they are thankful for. I didn't join in because I felt like it was all a little too cliche. Not that people shouldn't post thankful statuses- because we all know it's waaaaay better than all the negative comments we all make on facebook for the world to see. Plus, I would read them and mostly agree what they were saying. I just felt like people were missing out......

Press the pause button and fast forward a second. There's a cool little thing I learned at Thanksgiving mass this past week. Father rambled a little about this and that and then he said the magic word: eucharistia. : ) Immediately my curiosity was piqued and my ears perked up. "Eucharistia" just so happens to be the greek word for Thanksgiving. It made me smile to think that the thing we should be most thankful for at all times of the year, Jesus' body and blood in the Eucharist, is the greek word for thanksgiving. How stinking cool is that?!

Push play again! Moral of the story: if I weren't such a chicken, I would post this on facebook.....

"I'm thankful for the supremely awesome and pretty much incomprehensible gift of eating God each time I go to mass." : )

Because I truly am. What an amazing God we have that is deeply in love with us all!! There is much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving! Peace.

Dragons and God or Ants and Eagles

As I mentioned in my last post, I read a lot last weekend. Not even my usual kind of read for the past several months. No religious topics :). Just good ol' tales of dragons, war, love, elves and werecats. Yes, I am a nerd. Yes, I am reading Inheritance. Yes, I am going to blog about it. :) 

You see, leave it to me to read this young adult fantasy book and relate it back to spirituality. But as you are about to find out, dragons and God do mix. : ) 

So if you do plan to read Inheritance, you may not want to read much further.....it doesn't contain many spoilers but a few quotes from the book. Here's the first quote: 

"When Eragon was a child, Carvahall and Palancar Valley had been all he had known. He had heard of the Empire, of course, but it had never seemed quite real until he began to travel within it.  Later still, his mental picture of the world had expanded to include the rest of Alagaesia and, vaguely, the other lands he had read of. And now he realized that what he had thought of as so large was actually but a small part of a much greater whole. It was as if his point of view had, within a few seconds, gone from that of an ant to that of an eagle. 

For the sky was hollow, and the world was round.

It made him reevaluate and recategorize....everything. The war between the Varden and the Empire seemed inconsequential when compared with the true size of the world, and he thought how petty were most of the hurts and concerns that bedeviled people, when looked at from on high. 

To Saphira, he said, If only everyone could see what we have seen, perhaps there would be less fighting in the world. 

You cannot expect wolves to become sheep. 

No, but neither do the wolves have to be cruel to the sheep. "

Ahhhhhhh, I just love it!!! Forgive me while I talk of Eragon as a real person for a second. 

Eragon is extremely relatable in this sequence. In a couple of different ways. I can relate in the literal way of course. More in more I am in awe of how little I am. How little you are. We are just specks, on specks, on specks on the timeline of life that God has created. Really. The things that "bedevil" (love that use of this word) are so...petty. In the grand scheme of things, of course. The devil is a tricky foe and causes us much despair. But try to think eagle-ish :) . Or at least understand that He is the master architect. He is the great artist of our lives. 

If you could see your plan, you'd look at it and say, "oh". The beauty of all of this life, is that you don't get that eagle-eye view. You just don't. But we have the knowledge to know that all of us specks are in good hands. The best hands, in fact. I know I'd say "oh, I get it." We have to trust that He and His eagle-eye view are bringing us closer to Him each day!

Okay, second more metaphorically speaking type of thing I draw from this text. Suppose for a second that the words "the Empire" were replaced by Jesus. 

"He had heard of the Empire, of course, but it had never seemed quite real until he began to travel within it."

Go ahead....you can smile. : ) Okay, then skip to this. 

"It made him reevaluate and recategorize....everything."

And that my friends, is exactly how I feel. : ) More to come on my good friend, Eragon next time. 

How Lovely

For some reason Mondays get a bad rep. Sure they represent the end of our precious weekend, however to me they also represent adoration. :) And here lately, most likely because of the cold weather, there is nothing I look forward to more than getting home, taking a hot shower and then going to adoration. No makeup. No deodorant. Just me all warmed up and clean, with wet hair, a hoodie and my favorite sweats hanging out and chilling with my best bud. It's awesome!! 

Plus, besides getting some much-needed adoration time, I haven't touched my lesson plan book in four days. Hell might have just froze over. In fact, I didn't even go to the school all weekend. Unless you count the time on Sunday I drove to Ark City with all my stuff to "work",  walked into my classroom, looked around, asked myself, "What the heck are you doing?" and then turned around, walked to my car and then drove to my Moms. : ) So unless you count that time. So all those lessons.....well they worked themselves out and ended up great. As they will tomorrow when we arrange flowers and weld. That's all I need to know. lol

 

But anyway, all I did all weekend was read, do two loads of laundry, and some dishes in the kitchen. That's it. Oh, and I took a nap Saturday AND Sunday. How lovely. 

That's it folks. Sometimes you need a little Jesus time. A little book time. A little me time. And then it just makes life all the better for those who have to be around you. : ) 

Better Late Than Never.....

I wrote 90% last Wednesday.....just now getting back to it. : )

A long, long time ago in the faraway kingdom of Ark City I was a high school student "involved" in several activities. Once such activity: FCA. Except tonight, almost ten years later, I attended my first ever FCA Rally. You see, I was pretty much one of those kids that had signed up for it and then disappeared off the face of the earth. I guess I can quit talking about those FFA kids that do this because I was pretty good at it too. : )

But back to this rally. Tonight was pretty beautiful. Today was boooo. Like one of those days when I am like can I please stop doing all this meaningless crap and do something that is beyond me and beyond.....this? However, tonight, well it was pretty beautiful. (again) So it completely made up for my boo day.

A student of mine was giving her testimony. She stood in front of a large group of her peers and adults and spoke about some very real and scary trails she has had in her life. Unfortunately, trials that as a teacher, I know other people in that room went through or are going through to this day.

She stood in front of a large group of people and talked about God.  : ) Courageous.

Now I know this was a FCA rally and that is kind of the point of these types of things- but still. As I sat in the audience that night, after one heck of a day, I sat back and was the student for once. It was the first time that day I chilled out, stopped thinking, and just listened. The things my students teach me........

All in all, I just feel beyond blessed to have crossed paths with this young lady.

Mission Fruity Snacks

I am just going to let you in on a little secret. Mission Fruity Snacks is actually code for Mission Go To Mass. : ) And that is just what I did on Tuesday night!

We have this vending machine at school that has single handily made over 90% of the students in our high school addicted to fruity snacks. They just eat them up faster than we can stock the dang machine. Which in turn doesn't make our "energy lady" too happy about a vending machine running without anything in it. But moral of the story is, I "have to" travel to Wichita often to visit our local Sam's Club to keep the fruity snack addiction up.

It's a win-win. They get fruity snacks and I get Jesus. : ) Which in turn makes me a very happy camper. Last night I attended mass at All Saints because I hadn't been there since this summer. The Gospel reading from Luke and the priest's homily actually fit in perfectly with the happenings of my day. Funny how that tends to happen. : )

As far as days go it was a pretty good one. I have two welding classes on Purple days. There are quite a few kids in the first class that typically act like turds. However, they must have decided that the shop is much better than doing work out of a book..... But then there was 4th hour. More specifically 4th hour in the last 10 minutes. They pretty much lacked any common courtesy to our school, the shop, and other people. Which really gets me fired up. Actually, even just thinking about it now makes me mad. : )

So back to the Gospel of Luke 17: 7-10

Attitude of a Servant

Who among you would say to your servant who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field, 'Come here immediately and take your place at table'? Would he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Put on your apron and wait on me while I eat and drink. You may eat and drink when I am finished'? Is he grateful to that servant because he did what he was commanded? So should it be with you. When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do.'"

Do you hear that welding boys, "So should it be with you."?

Now don't get me wrong, I do have some great students. I really do. However, I do get fed up with some of my student's behaviors and thought processes. As a student, I expect you to be able to walk down the hallway without running, hitting people, cussing, and yelling. To me, this isn't something extra you do for your teacher if you really like them or even some crazy, unreasonable request. It is just what you should do. In the reading, the servant did what was expected of him and didn't ask to leave class early or get extra credit because his work was especially good that day. They did it because that is what they were obliged to do. They did it not wanting to get something out of it in return. Some of my students are missing the boat. Big time. I guess what I am saying is, that I am going to give my students a little Bible lesson next class. haha

It should be good times. Until my next fruity snack run!

Just Shut Up

Being human is hard sometimes. I think that being human the past few weeks has been particularly hard for me. It doesn't really matter why. Mostly, because we can all relate in some shape or form. We all have our little daily battles, that might turn into weeks, months and maybe even year-long battles. I have definitely reached a point where I am just weary. I am just tired, in about every way you could think of- of trying to fix it, trying to figure it out, and trying to go back. It's funny, in the ironic kind of way, because I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide my words, thoughts and actions and then I try to fix them. Over and over and over again. No wonder I feel this way.

So that is exactly what I told Fr. Mike this morning in confession. So two things to be happy about with that sentence:

1. I got to go to confession! It felt great and was exactly what I had been needing to do....
2. I finally went to Fr. Mike! : ) For some reason I have held this fear about going to him and I seem to go to every other priest in the world but Father Mike. It was good to hear from him for once. He was helpful.

I told him I don't really understand. I want to so badly to forget about my will and to just go with God's plan. To stop thinking about how I want things in my life to happen. I definitely try. But I also definitely have moments when I know I shouldn't be doing something but I still do it. And mostly I am just tired of doubting so much. I am confused about HOW to listen. About HOW to make sure I am not just following my will.

So how can I let myself be guided by the Holy Spirit? How can I listen? How will I know it's the Holy Spirit? I don't really know yet......... : ) I know, if only the world's problems could be solved by one confession. : )  But hey, I am a work in progress.

Here is what helped: Father Mike told me I needed to "just shut up sometimes". This made me smile, mostly because those are the words he used and because I  think he is right. And I think if you know me, that would make you laugh too. He was like no amount of book-reading, talking to people, or constantly praying about is going to help if you never shut up to listen to Him trying to talk back to you.

A little side-story----- when I first started going to adoration last Lent, I thought it was strangely/uncomfortably quiet in the chapel. It was way too quiet for me. So I'd bring my iPod and listen to music. : ) Not like Eminem or anything.....you know a little Needtobreathe or Brandon Heath. But anyway, after a couple of month's I stopped that. Then most recently, the two Monday's before National Convention, I was asked to cover an adoration hour from 11pm-12. Which I quickly said yes to, because I love going to adoration and I can count on one hand the number of times I have been in solitude during adoration. So I was super excited for some great adoration time. I had actually been thinking of what to do with my time and had come to the conclusion to just sit there. To "just shut up" as Fr. Mike would say. It lasted for a bit......... and then I just ended up praying and reading. haha So I might have a slight problem here.

Well.....it seems that I am to try that again. : ) I mean, He already knows how I feel. He knows every little thing that I do. And I know He's trying to help me. Even if I don't like what He is saying. So I can tell Him again for the thousandth time, or I can try to listen again. Even if it does take me two months. : ) I am already excited for adoration this week!

So next time you pray, I encourage you to just shut up and tune in to what He is saying too. Listen and do. Don't listen and reject. Make sure your relationship with Him is a two-way conversation. Just shut up.

In Christ, Through Mary.