Can you believe it is already January 17th!? Craziness I tell you. Usually January is a pretty calm month school-wise, life-wise and FFA-wise. This go around it has been more of the same but spiritual-wise it has been all but calm. Which is a great and wonderful thing!
Throughout this past year I have really enjoyed getting away a couple of times a month to catch an evening mass in Wichita. Sometime during the first week of the year, I got this idea that I wanted to make two masses a week. Preferably, a M-F daily mass and then Sunday. It really wasn't a new year's resolution it just was something I wanted to do. The times I go to mass mid-week actually help me. I know it sounds stupid, but if I just go on Sunday, by Thursday I am usually in need of a little spiritual pick-me-up.
For this week, I went to my additional mass on Saturday. No it didn't quite fit into the M-F time frame, but it was gonna have to work! :) Actually Saturday was one of the most perfect days of the year so far. The weather was beautiful, and I had planned a couple of weeks before to visit Sr. Mary Catherine again. Our visit was pretty great. Honestly, what I enjoyed most out of our conversation was being able to openly and honestly talk about faith. I know that each person's faith is deeply, deeply personal but when people share......... well, wonderful things can and start to happen.
So after my little trip, I had to decide between St. Anthony's and St. Joseph's for a 4 pm mass. I had never been to St. Joseph's, so that is where I headed. It was an awesome choice! I actually got there really early on accident but I went ahead and walked inside anyway. As I was kneeling, I felt prompted to go to confession. I came to mass not intending or not really "needing" to go to confession but the more I kneeled the more I just really felt like I should go.
It's funny how me not really "needing" to go to confession turned into what had to be the longest confession ever. Not because of my long list of sins ;) but because that priest at St. Joseph's is awesome! He just kept asking me question after question, what my opinion on what trust actually was, and then he'd put in his two-cents. He made me smile lots and gave me a lot of hope. Best of all, right before he gave me my penance, he asks, "You love our Blessed Mother, right?". I think I was a bit eager with my YES! Actually, how can you bee too eager to say yes to that question? :) Plus, with all my reading I did to learn how to go to confession, I have noticed all the priests always leave out the part right before we say, "His mercy endures forever". But this guy didn't. Legit. Go confess to him if you ever get the chance.
The rest of the mass was simply beautiful. Coming off that confession I was already so free. Then the readings about Samuel were perfect. I really felt like that, "Speak, Lord your servant is listening!!" Then we get to the psalms, "Here am I Lord; I come to do your will," and it brings more chills. Finally, I am left wanting to run out into the world to do something, anything for God when I hear, "Come, and you will see." God was bringing his "A game" for sure today. Then we got to Father's homily. That little turd was throwing in stuff that we had just talked about. :) Hmmmm. Of course, you can imagine he talked a bit about vocations but also about bringing other people to the faith. The Eucharist had me floating through air. Then we sang The Summons. It was like, how does God orchestrate all this again? One of the most wonderful masses I have ever celebrated.
You know, maybe God didn't physically call me like He did with Samuel; but I sure was getting the message! So glad I had to wait until Saturday to attend mass.
Peace!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Catholic Heaven
Typically, I am pretty quiet about my faith around most people. Maybe there are a few things I do, such as play Christian music, and wear a rosary on my wrist that might give me away. However, I have said the words, "I am Catholic" to very few people.
However, I LOVE talking about my faith. I really do. On top of this, although I am quiet to most people and don't really bring it up in conversation, I am really proud that I am Catholic.
That's why I ended up talking to Erik about religion in class today. We had finished up our welding final, and most students were quietly working on something for another class. Erik was talking to a few other students at his table. They were talking about religion and I was catching bit and pieces of the conversation. Basically, Erik didn't believe in all this Christianity stuff, as he preferred to follow the religious beliefs of the Vikings and believed in multiple Gods. Hmmmm. He went on and on and I really wanted to same something. But I didn't. But then he says this:
"They believed in different kinds of Heavens depending on who you are. You don't go to the same Heaven. Like there is a Christian Heaven and then there is a Catholic Heaven."
And then I just couldn't stay quiet..........
"Erik, what did you just say?"
"There are different kinds of Heaven...."
"Yeah I heard that but the Christian and Catholic part?"
"Yeah for example, some of us might go to Christian Heaven and the Catholics could go to Catholic Heaven."
"But Erik, Catholics are Christians."
"But, but..."
"Christians are people who believe in Jesus Christ and Catholics believe in Jesus. Therefore we are Christians. I am Catholic and I am a Christian."
And so started quite the little discussion with Erik. And it wasn't really Erik's use of the word "Catholic" (okay maybe a little) that prompted me to speak. In contrast, it was really his complete omission of all the other sectors of Christianity. What about Methodists, Lutheran, Baptist, Presbyterian and the-list-goes-on Heavens? Erik soon found out that before the Reformation in the 16th century, all Christians were Catholic.
It really was quite a fun little talk. A couple of other kids would pop in every so often. We talked about his disbelief in the Bible. How could the Bible be true it was written by man? Next topic. Why are Christians so judgmental, my sister is a lesbian and they all say she is going to Hell? Then, why can't I do what I want in this life? What if there isn't anything after this and I didn't enjoy this life and get every thing out of this life by trying everything? Plus, if I am a good person does it really matter? Then my favorite, why does Christianity put down the importance of women? I seriously had to restrain myself BIG time because I wanted to do a happy dance and ask, "Haven't you ever heard of your Momma Mary?!"
The more we shared our thoughts, the better the conversation got. He share a little about the Vikings or about various other religions he had tried out and I share a little about mine. For example, if a Viking dies in battle, they go to 'heaven" and if they die but not in battle, they go to "hell". Which totally explains why Hiccup wanted to slay dragons in "How to Train Your Dragon." We talked about how his Mom had wanted him to be baptized before she died. But now he just wasn't so sure. He has a couple of friends that go to a Christian church that he sometimes goes to but not regularly. He feels judged. At the end of our conversation he actually said, "Wow, this is all really confusing!"
I am like "You're telling me!" :)
Erik is like a lot of my kids. He has had more crazy stuff happen to him in his 17 years than in my 27. He doesn't necessarily have it easy. Yeah, part of it is his fault. He doesn't always make the best decisions dealing with drugs and alcohol, he can be kind of a turd to a lot of people, and sometimes I think he is a bit lazy. But this kid is searching for something. Yep, for Jesus. I really pray that Erik's search ends not in Viking armor but in the Armor of God. We definitely need more warriors in this battle!
St. Michael the Archangel, Pray for us!
However, I LOVE talking about my faith. I really do. On top of this, although I am quiet to most people and don't really bring it up in conversation, I am really proud that I am Catholic.
That's why I ended up talking to Erik about religion in class today. We had finished up our welding final, and most students were quietly working on something for another class. Erik was talking to a few other students at his table. They were talking about religion and I was catching bit and pieces of the conversation. Basically, Erik didn't believe in all this Christianity stuff, as he preferred to follow the religious beliefs of the Vikings and believed in multiple Gods. Hmmmm. He went on and on and I really wanted to same something. But I didn't. But then he says this:
"They believed in different kinds of Heavens depending on who you are. You don't go to the same Heaven. Like there is a Christian Heaven and then there is a Catholic Heaven."
And then I just couldn't stay quiet..........
"Erik, what did you just say?"
"There are different kinds of Heaven...."
"Yeah I heard that but the Christian and Catholic part?"
"Yeah for example, some of us might go to Christian Heaven and the Catholics could go to Catholic Heaven."
"But Erik, Catholics are Christians."
"But, but..."
"Christians are people who believe in Jesus Christ and Catholics believe in Jesus. Therefore we are Christians. I am Catholic and I am a Christian."
And so started quite the little discussion with Erik. And it wasn't really Erik's use of the word "Catholic" (okay maybe a little) that prompted me to speak. In contrast, it was really his complete omission of all the other sectors of Christianity. What about Methodists, Lutheran, Baptist, Presbyterian and the-list-goes-on Heavens? Erik soon found out that before the Reformation in the 16th century, all Christians were Catholic.
It really was quite a fun little talk. A couple of other kids would pop in every so often. We talked about his disbelief in the Bible. How could the Bible be true it was written by man? Next topic. Why are Christians so judgmental, my sister is a lesbian and they all say she is going to Hell? Then, why can't I do what I want in this life? What if there isn't anything after this and I didn't enjoy this life and get every thing out of this life by trying everything? Plus, if I am a good person does it really matter? Then my favorite, why does Christianity put down the importance of women? I seriously had to restrain myself BIG time because I wanted to do a happy dance and ask, "Haven't you ever heard of your Momma Mary?!"
The more we shared our thoughts, the better the conversation got. He share a little about the Vikings or about various other religions he had tried out and I share a little about mine. For example, if a Viking dies in battle, they go to 'heaven" and if they die but not in battle, they go to "hell". Which totally explains why Hiccup wanted to slay dragons in "How to Train Your Dragon." We talked about how his Mom had wanted him to be baptized before she died. But now he just wasn't so sure. He has a couple of friends that go to a Christian church that he sometimes goes to but not regularly. He feels judged. At the end of our conversation he actually said, "Wow, this is all really confusing!"
I am like "You're telling me!" :)
Erik is like a lot of my kids. He has had more crazy stuff happen to him in his 17 years than in my 27. He doesn't necessarily have it easy. Yeah, part of it is his fault. He doesn't always make the best decisions dealing with drugs and alcohol, he can be kind of a turd to a lot of people, and sometimes I think he is a bit lazy. But this kid is searching for something. Yep, for Jesus. I really pray that Erik's search ends not in Viking armor but in the Armor of God. We definitely need more warriors in this battle!
St. Michael the Archangel, Pray for us!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Strengths and Weaknesses
Fo some reason the title of this posts keeps kind of creeping into my life. Mostly through books and music. But good people too. :)
As a teacher, we are taught the importance of focusing on the strengths of our students. Or even through different leadership trainings many people, icluding myself, have been trained to focus in on our strengths. The logic being that some students do not have anybody in their life other than you that points out what they are good at. Or from the leadership perspective- why should we focus on our weakness and MAYBE improve it a little when we could focus in on or strength and do it in an AWESOME way?
So this sounds legit. I have touched on this topic many times as a teacher. I have had several students take the StrengthsFinder quiz and more recently we read about the Golden Buddha Habitude in a couple of my classes. It is about seeing the "gold" inside yourself and taking a personal inventory of your strengths. It is a great story about finding the value inside yourself and inside those around you. Read more about it here.
Now there are two forms of Habitudes one can get their hands on: the faith-based and the values-based books. At school we have the values-based books but I love to read the reflections used in the faith-based books. Here is something from it.
Which just sums up this whole strengths and weakness debate so well! :)
Peace!
As a teacher, we are taught the importance of focusing on the strengths of our students. Or even through different leadership trainings many people, icluding myself, have been trained to focus in on our strengths. The logic being that some students do not have anybody in their life other than you that points out what they are good at. Or from the leadership perspective- why should we focus on our weakness and MAYBE improve it a little when we could focus in on or strength and do it in an AWESOME way?
So this sounds legit. I have touched on this topic many times as a teacher. I have had several students take the StrengthsFinder quiz and more recently we read about the Golden Buddha Habitude in a couple of my classes. It is about seeing the "gold" inside yourself and taking a personal inventory of your strengths. It is a great story about finding the value inside yourself and inside those around you. Read more about it here.
Now there are two forms of Habitudes one can get their hands on: the faith-based and the values-based books. At school we have the values-based books but I love to read the reflections used in the faith-based books. Here is something from it.
"Now, check out II Corinthians 5:17-18:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come. All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”"
This tells us we are a new creation. Each one of us something brand-spanking-new and wonderfully unique. Completely new and glorious. Yes like the this song.
The lyrics, "What does that make me?" alway send me a very beautiful reminder and it makes me smile. Every single time. :)
Oh but wait!!! Did you check out the line in 2 Corinthians about reconciliation? He gave us the ministry of recon-silly-what?
Okay, so I confess (haha) I am reading another book in this group at church. It's called Rediscovering Catholicism. Yes, I do think it is a little ironic that I go from reading Catholicism for Dummies to Rediscovering Catholicism in about 12 months. Truth is, I am rediscovering Catholicism everyday! Which is waaaaaay awesome.
Anyway, there is this one part of the book that knows what is up and it is about the sacrament of Confession. It has put a spin on this whole strengths and weakness thing that actually makes a lot of sense to me. It tells us that our culture obsesses over strengths and tells us to focus solely on them. It wants productivity and effectiveness. Arguably both very good things. However, God has called us to be HOLY. We couldn't possibly do this without taking a look at our weaknesses and then working on them. Lucky us, we have the sacrament of reconciliation.
This book dissects Confession and it really shows us what a wonderful gift we have been given. If we take it to heart. I may not have a ton of experience in this area but I do know the value of frequent confession. I understand how much more "on-track" I am when I go more frequently and how little sins add up to big sins if I stray away for too long. Sure I have pondered the ideas of just confessing to God, or just doing the minimum. Then I think, "how many times did you confess your sins to God before you were actually Catholic?" Hmmmm, yeah about that. :) So you see, Confession is something to embrace. It brings us grace and self-knowledge and a clear conscience. All while working on our weaknesses.
Okay so to sum up this post, check out this song:
Yes, friends I think we can do better than this! :)
BTW favorite line,
Cause I have the potential, to be the guiltiest ha.
My greatest strength is also my strongest weakness.
My greatest strength is also my strongest weakness.
Peace!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Shortest Post Ever
I started and ended my day in adoration. This is an awesome thing. :)
I read this today: "If only our souls growled when they were hungry like our stomachs do." I thought it was kind of funny. And fitting.
Night!
I read this today: "If only our souls growled when they were hungry like our stomachs do." I thought it was kind of funny. And fitting.
Night!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Part 3: Kasie Goes to the Convent????
So brief look back at "Part 1: Running" is necessary before the rest of the story. If you remember correctly, I was in the process of fortifying my wall during my recent "running away" stint at All Saints. However, God brought out his secret weapon to help destroy my wall- an All Saints church bulletin.....duh duh duhnnnn.
I grabbed the dang bulletin as an afterthought as I skipped out on mass. Let me translate that last sentence for you-
"Even at the very instant that I was planning "My way" and rejecting Him, he was chasing me down, He never stopped loving me or showing me His love."
As you could expect, I read the bulletin and saw this mention of a "Holy Hour of Peace" to be offered on Sunday the Solemnity of Mary Mother of God at Mount Saint Mary Convent. I thought it sounded pretty interesting. Plus, I knew that adoration at Holy Name wasn't going to be held this Monday because of the holiday. I figured this would be an awesome way to get in a little more adoration time this week. So after a few failed attempts at getting people to attend this event with me, I went alone.
As I was driving up to the buildings that make up the Congregation of St. Joseph, I missed my turn....on purpose...... a couple of times. It was kind of intimidating to say the least. But remembering my stupidness at All Saints earlier in the week, I finally turned in and drove up to the convent. Ha that is such a funny sentence.
My time spent in the Resurrection Chapel was quite the little blessing! First thing I noticed- I was extremely out of place. I wanted to ask, "Where are all the young people??!"I mean these people had a good 40-50 years on me. Most of them were ladies.....I mean I did kind of figure that before I got there. So I guess being a young 27 year-old male would have been more awkward. But the awkward faded fast, like in the first 3 minutes. Because, although I noticed the extreme age difference, nobody else seemed to. Being in the chapel with all those older souls was a good slow down for me. I walked in, right on time, due to my hesitance on driving up to the convent. By that time all the papers with the readings and psalms where passed out. Plus, I didn't have a hymnal. And I just found the nearest seat possible in the back to sit down in. Little did I know, I picked the best seat in the house, because it was right behind Nell.
Upon seeing me pretty clueless in the back, Nell got up, and got me a hymnal and allowed me to peak over her shoulder the whole time to read the antiphons and psalm readings. Then I got lots of old lady hugs. haha Here are my favorite things/most interesting things about the Holy Hour of Peace:
-The slow, meaningful pace. Yes, this was in part because it did take some of the people there longer to reach the podium and whatnot.....however it was a great reminder for me to pray S L O W. Yeah, I can get in a whole rosary on my way to school in the morning OR I could really meditate on what I am praying and maybe only get two decades in.
-The Love for each other. People watching was pretty great here. There was the older lady using a magnifying glass to read the paper. The older lady using her walker to get across the room. Nell sharing her papers. Nell helping the ladies next to her turn the papers. Pretty much everywhere I looked people were constantly helping each other in small little ways. They were loving each other at their finest. It was such a cool thing to see.
-This was the first time I have ever seen anyone besides a priest handle the host and put and take out the host from the monstrance. Kinda interesting.
-And lastly, I noticed the stained glass windows. Yes it is a problem. But I couldn't help but stare at them. They were all the same except the middle pane had something different in each one. Great blue and purple colors. A lot of the times I do like the more traditional stuff, however these really weren't and I still really liked them. It made me want to learn how to use paint on windows. But I have been told that is an expensive habit to pick up. :)
Also, I don't believe there were many lay people in attendance but I can't be entirely sure because they were all wearing "normal" clothes. After the Holy Hour, Nell introduced me to a ton of Sisters. They were asking me questions left and right. Sr. Mary Catherine was another Sister I talked with for quite awhile afterwards. They seemed to find a high school teacher of horticulture and Catholic convert interesting. So anyway I have a nun's number in my phone now and plans to visit in a couple of weeks when I am back in Wichita. She is going to give me a tour, feed me, and chat it up.
So going on a nun run, huh? See I know what you're thinking. : ) It is what it is, I guess. But really I am the one that finds these ladies refreshing and interesting. Plus, I am just hoping to form some relationships that help guide me in my faith. It would be nice to have someone that can help answer my questions and push me in my faith.
God and His silly church bulletin. Gosh that Guy knows what He is doing. :) Once again, He sure did put a smile on my face and peace in my heart. So beyond blessed it isn't even funny.
I grabbed the dang bulletin as an afterthought as I skipped out on mass. Let me translate that last sentence for you-
"Even at the very instant that I was planning "My way" and rejecting Him, he was chasing me down, He never stopped loving me or showing me His love."
As you could expect, I read the bulletin and saw this mention of a "Holy Hour of Peace" to be offered on Sunday the Solemnity of Mary Mother of God at Mount Saint Mary Convent. I thought it sounded pretty interesting. Plus, I knew that adoration at Holy Name wasn't going to be held this Monday because of the holiday. I figured this would be an awesome way to get in a little more adoration time this week. So after a few failed attempts at getting people to attend this event with me, I went alone.
As I was driving up to the buildings that make up the Congregation of St. Joseph, I missed my turn....on purpose...... a couple of times. It was kind of intimidating to say the least. But remembering my stupidness at All Saints earlier in the week, I finally turned in and drove up to the convent. Ha that is such a funny sentence.
My time spent in the Resurrection Chapel was quite the little blessing! First thing I noticed- I was extremely out of place. I wanted to ask, "Where are all the young people??!"I mean these people had a good 40-50 years on me. Most of them were ladies.....I mean I did kind of figure that before I got there. So I guess being a young 27 year-old male would have been more awkward. But the awkward faded fast, like in the first 3 minutes. Because, although I noticed the extreme age difference, nobody else seemed to. Being in the chapel with all those older souls was a good slow down for me. I walked in, right on time, due to my hesitance on driving up to the convent. By that time all the papers with the readings and psalms where passed out. Plus, I didn't have a hymnal. And I just found the nearest seat possible in the back to sit down in. Little did I know, I picked the best seat in the house, because it was right behind Nell.
Upon seeing me pretty clueless in the back, Nell got up, and got me a hymnal and allowed me to peak over her shoulder the whole time to read the antiphons and psalm readings. Then I got lots of old lady hugs. haha Here are my favorite things/most interesting things about the Holy Hour of Peace:
-The slow, meaningful pace. Yes, this was in part because it did take some of the people there longer to reach the podium and whatnot.....however it was a great reminder for me to pray S L O W. Yeah, I can get in a whole rosary on my way to school in the morning OR I could really meditate on what I am praying and maybe only get two decades in.
-The Love for each other. People watching was pretty great here. There was the older lady using a magnifying glass to read the paper. The older lady using her walker to get across the room. Nell sharing her papers. Nell helping the ladies next to her turn the papers. Pretty much everywhere I looked people were constantly helping each other in small little ways. They were loving each other at their finest. It was such a cool thing to see.
-This was the first time I have ever seen anyone besides a priest handle the host and put and take out the host from the monstrance. Kinda interesting.
-And lastly, I noticed the stained glass windows. Yes it is a problem. But I couldn't help but stare at them. They were all the same except the middle pane had something different in each one. Great blue and purple colors. A lot of the times I do like the more traditional stuff, however these really weren't and I still really liked them. It made me want to learn how to use paint on windows. But I have been told that is an expensive habit to pick up. :)
Also, I don't believe there were many lay people in attendance but I can't be entirely sure because they were all wearing "normal" clothes. After the Holy Hour, Nell introduced me to a ton of Sisters. They were asking me questions left and right. Sr. Mary Catherine was another Sister I talked with for quite awhile afterwards. They seemed to find a high school teacher of horticulture and Catholic convert interesting. So anyway I have a nun's number in my phone now and plans to visit in a couple of weeks when I am back in Wichita. She is going to give me a tour, feed me, and chat it up.
So going on a nun run, huh? See I know what you're thinking. : ) It is what it is, I guess. But really I am the one that finds these ladies refreshing and interesting. Plus, I am just hoping to form some relationships that help guide me in my faith. It would be nice to have someone that can help answer my questions and push me in my faith.
God and His silly church bulletin. Gosh that Guy knows what He is doing. :) Once again, He sure did put a smile on my face and peace in my heart. So beyond blessed it isn't even funny.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Part 2: My "Lame" New Years
I know, I know. I did promise "Part 2: Kasie Goes to the Convent" but I realized I couldn't very well just leave out the middle of the story. I guess that means there will be a Part 3!
So New Years Eve is typically a pretty fun and happening time for a lot of people. When I really think about all the 27 years of new years eve-ness I have had I have come to a startling conclusion. Not a single one has really been all that memorable. Yeah, I have had your typical NYE festivities- Aggieville parties, fun-having with the besties, champagne toasts at midnight with the Grandma even, but nothing even compares to the peacefulness and happiness that filled me to the brim at 12:00 AM this year.
After mass, I planned on getting some chinese take-out and watch Water For Elephants. I could have went to a couple of different places but really a quiet night in was totally calling my name. So that is what I did. So you ask, "Kasie, chinese food and Water for Elephants will bring me peace?" Maybe. : ) But probably not.
So earlier this week I registered for a retreat at the Spiritual Life Center- thank you Mom for my Visa Gift Card. :) As I was perusing the SLC website I saw this advertisement: Ring in the New Year With Mass. Hmmm, that would actually be kind of cool.....but no it wouldn't.....it would be LAME. Like as lame as eating chinese food and watching movies. ;)
About 30 minutes into Water for Elephants (great movie btw) that ad was nagging at my thoughts, so I pushed paused and hopped in my car and started the trek to the SLC. It was a very peaceful night. I spent it with about 30 strangers in adoration, celebrating mass, learning a few things about Mary that I didn't know, and then a candle lit procession. After singing a Ave Maria hymn and getting blessed with holy water, we were done with about 2 minutes to spare. So Father led us in a few Hail Marys. I brought in 2012 saying Hail Marys for my family and friends. Can you say awesome?! One last happy o' the night was seeing Fr. John, the priest I gave my first confession to. So I guess 29 strangers to be more accurate. As I left the SLC, I couldn't stop smiling and I felt more peaceful than I had felt in a very long time.
So lame NYE? Yeah, I suppose so. :) However, it felt so good on this soul!
In Christ, Through Mary!
So New Years Eve is typically a pretty fun and happening time for a lot of people. When I really think about all the 27 years of new years eve-ness I have had I have come to a startling conclusion. Not a single one has really been all that memorable. Yeah, I have had your typical NYE festivities- Aggieville parties, fun-having with the besties, champagne toasts at midnight with the Grandma even, but nothing even compares to the peacefulness and happiness that filled me to the brim at 12:00 AM this year.
After mass, I planned on getting some chinese take-out and watch Water For Elephants. I could have went to a couple of different places but really a quiet night in was totally calling my name. So that is what I did. So you ask, "Kasie, chinese food and Water for Elephants will bring me peace?" Maybe. : ) But probably not.
So earlier this week I registered for a retreat at the Spiritual Life Center- thank you Mom for my Visa Gift Card. :) As I was perusing the SLC website I saw this advertisement: Ring in the New Year With Mass. Hmmm, that would actually be kind of cool.....but no it wouldn't.....it would be LAME. Like as lame as eating chinese food and watching movies. ;)
About 30 minutes into Water for Elephants (great movie btw) that ad was nagging at my thoughts, so I pushed paused and hopped in my car and started the trek to the SLC. It was a very peaceful night. I spent it with about 30 strangers in adoration, celebrating mass, learning a few things about Mary that I didn't know, and then a candle lit procession. After singing a Ave Maria hymn and getting blessed with holy water, we were done with about 2 minutes to spare. So Father led us in a few Hail Marys. I brought in 2012 saying Hail Marys for my family and friends. Can you say awesome?! One last happy o' the night was seeing Fr. John, the priest I gave my first confession to. So I guess 29 strangers to be more accurate. As I left the SLC, I couldn't stop smiling and I felt more peaceful than I had felt in a very long time.
So lame NYE? Yeah, I suppose so. :) However, it felt so good on this soul!
In Christ, Through Mary!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Part 1: Running
It has been quite the past couple of months. Not really in the good way either. : ) You know that wall I talked about last post? The brief mention of blocking God? Well it has been a lot of that. A lot of hiding from Him. I am trying to live a faith not fueled completely on what I am feeling. For example, when I find myself "not feeling close" to Him instead of shutting down, I try to pray anyway. So how do I do?
Well, I am not so good at this sometimes. For example, I started two novenas and then didn't finish them. I go through the whole day realizing I only prayed at meals, and then finally really try to talk when I am super tired and not so effective at praying. I worry about something all day, finally pray a rosary at 11:45 that night, just to realize I should had done that hours ago. I tried going to confession multiple times but didn't. In fact this past Tuesday, I found myself in Wichita at All Saints for the 5:30 mass. I got there early to go to confession. I went to the adoration room they have there but was anxious and could only stay about 10 minutes. I moved to the main part of the church. I watched the birds in the windows above the sanctuary for like 15 minutes. I watched about four people enter and then leave the confessional. It was open, so I got up...........and walked out of the building. I didn't even stay for mass. I grabbed a bulletin (I don't even know why) as I walked out of the church and then back to Winfield.
How many times do we have Grace dangling right in front of our faces, just to reject it? That was a really stupid thing for me to do. Like sooooo stupid. As I was driving home, I was beginning to realize that I was in desperate need of the very thing I had just rejected. Why am I not taking more time for my relationship with Him? But even still, the rest of the week I started.....and ended....multiple plans to hit up the confessional or spend time with Him.
Finally, on Saturday I put my foot down and took care of business in good ol' Ark City. It was an absolutely beautiful day. I could walk outside and not really need a jacket. So I spent a little time at the what I like to cal the ponder/pray trail. Then it was off to Sacred Heart for a little grace. Once there, I discovered a little "hidden" room with candles and a portrait of Mary off of the main part of Sacred Heart. It was an awesome place to pray, prepare, and reflect.
START TANGENT
I don't know if you have ever watched the Gilmore Girls, but one of the main characters, Lorelai, has a dog named Paul Anka. Yes, very endearing name. Well you see, Paul Anka (the dog), is very particular about things, like exceedingly ridiculous things. Unfortunately I can't remember all the particulars, but in general, Paul Anka hates certain words and can't do _________ if ___________ doesn't happen. Just pretend this is mad libs and fill in the blanks- I am sure it will work. : ) Yeah, so I am a bit ridiculous about things too. But it is just because I wanted to make a good confession. So good thing I found the Mary room as it fit the needs of my ridiculousness quite well.
END TANGENT :)
Confession, great! Mass, great! Eucharist, awesomeness! What does a person who is brand new do to celebrate the new year? Guess you will have to find out in Part 2: Kasie goes to the Convent. Yes....I just said that. :)
PS- Check out this song. Love it!
Well, I am not so good at this sometimes. For example, I started two novenas and then didn't finish them. I go through the whole day realizing I only prayed at meals, and then finally really try to talk when I am super tired and not so effective at praying. I worry about something all day, finally pray a rosary at 11:45 that night, just to realize I should had done that hours ago. I tried going to confession multiple times but didn't. In fact this past Tuesday, I found myself in Wichita at All Saints for the 5:30 mass. I got there early to go to confession. I went to the adoration room they have there but was anxious and could only stay about 10 minutes. I moved to the main part of the church. I watched the birds in the windows above the sanctuary for like 15 minutes. I watched about four people enter and then leave the confessional. It was open, so I got up...........and walked out of the building. I didn't even stay for mass. I grabbed a bulletin (I don't even know why) as I walked out of the church and then back to Winfield.
How many times do we have Grace dangling right in front of our faces, just to reject it? That was a really stupid thing for me to do. Like sooooo stupid. As I was driving home, I was beginning to realize that I was in desperate need of the very thing I had just rejected. Why am I not taking more time for my relationship with Him? But even still, the rest of the week I started.....and ended....multiple plans to hit up the confessional or spend time with Him.
Finally, on Saturday I put my foot down and took care of business in good ol' Ark City. It was an absolutely beautiful day. I could walk outside and not really need a jacket. So I spent a little time at the what I like to cal the ponder/pray trail. Then it was off to Sacred Heart for a little grace. Once there, I discovered a little "hidden" room with candles and a portrait of Mary off of the main part of Sacred Heart. It was an awesome place to pray, prepare, and reflect.
START TANGENT
I don't know if you have ever watched the Gilmore Girls, but one of the main characters, Lorelai, has a dog named Paul Anka. Yes, very endearing name. Well you see, Paul Anka (the dog), is very particular about things, like exceedingly ridiculous things. Unfortunately I can't remember all the particulars, but in general, Paul Anka hates certain words and can't do _________ if ___________ doesn't happen. Just pretend this is mad libs and fill in the blanks- I am sure it will work. : ) Yeah, so I am a bit ridiculous about things too. But it is just because I wanted to make a good confession. So good thing I found the Mary room as it fit the needs of my ridiculousness quite well.
END TANGENT :)
Confession, great! Mass, great! Eucharist, awesomeness! What does a person who is brand new do to celebrate the new year? Guess you will have to find out in Part 2: Kasie goes to the Convent. Yes....I just said that. :)
PS- Check out this song. Love it!
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