D as in Dysfunctional and Splitting my Time

Coming from a family who has gone through 3 divorces,  I should be pretty screwed up right? Maybe I am, but I think a lot of that stuff is nonsense. I mean I have a HUGE family now and they all love me. Plus, my other Dad's family still wants to be my family even after the divorce. Confused yet? I'll just spell it out for all the people who may not understand. 

My stepdad Phil (my other dad) and my Mom recently split up. Going through your parents divorce at age 24 (I am now 25) is definitely a little different then it was when I was in 4th grade when my Mom and Dad divorced. It wasn't all that traumatic, I only have one very vivid memory of the day my Dad left our house for good. I think that overall, this one has been way more confusing for me.

Even after the divorce, my Mom and Dad ended up living on the same street in town. Of course, like most kids with divorced parents I had a schedule of when to see who. Mine was every Wednesday and every other weekend I would be with my Dad. Plus, two months out of the year. I can't remember both but I know one was March. I thought that was cool because March is my birthday month. I was a complete Daddy's girl when I was little. I played softball, fished, and camped all the time with my Dad. 

Now back to present time. I am extremely lucky that Phil is my dad and that I picked up a new brother and sister in the deal. I know that in some families that go through divorces, they seem to put labels on what they are; Here is my step-grandma and my step-brother. Thankfully, my Mom and Phil built up a strong family that didn't have these labels. Now I don't believe that my parents were amazing to each other and they really didn't cultivated their marriage. But I do know that we 5 kids were the only things that mattered to them. We were their world. Which is so good to grow up in, but after we all left the nest it wasn't so good for them. Of course this is just my take on things. 

So back to why this divorce is confusing. Or was confusing. Normally, when parents get divorced your mom is still your mom an your dad is still your dad. What happens when your mom divorces your stepdad who is just like your dad? Is he still your dad? 

When I first heard the news, I was trying to put new labels on things. Is my Grandma still my Grandma? What will I do at Christmas? Am I still going to see Phil? Will Phil, Megan and Levi still want to see me? Is the grass green? Is the sky blue? Yes,  yes, yes ,yes, yes, yes. But it took me awhile to see that a piece of paper saying my parents were no longer married had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they are still my family. Which is such a relief to figure out, I might add. I really did struggle with the fact that I thought I was losing my Dad just because he wasn't my Dad biologically. I can't count the number of times Phil has proven to me just this year that that thought was just plain silly. I guess that is what families do. Nobody has the perfect family but I feel pretty lucky to have my dysfunctional one. 

I want to let you on on a little secret. All that above stuff I just type came outta nowhere! I was planning on talking about my 4th and instead talked about my parents problems. : ) Oh man, I guess I needed that!

So now that you all know my life story I am gonna tell you more of it. Goody. So holidays can get a little hectic in divorceville. You see, everyone has something planned. And if you choose not to go one event and opt for a different event instead, someone feels left out. They won't tell you they feel left out but you know they feel that way. It is just human nature. I have tried to put myself in their shoes and I think I would feel that way too. I mean if every year you spend the 4th of July on your aunt's porch, drinking beer, riding 4-wheelers, shooting off firecrackers and listening to "God Bless the USA" as the big finale is lighting up the sky and suddenly you don't get to go because of the big D ("and I don't mean Dallas"). Yeah, I would feel left out if everyone was there and I wasn't. Shoot if the 4th of July is this hard just think about what my wedding will be like. On second though, please don't! I don't want to begin to think about them getting remarried. I am so not looking forward to that. It is the one thing I still am not so sure about. I know it is not fair to Phil, but I don't think I would like it one bit if he got remarried anytime in the foreseeable future. Wow, what a tangent!

So what do I do. I split up my time. Hang out with Mom in the morning and in between the other two things. Take Brynley and Katie to the lake to see my Dad, Nannie and Papa, Andi and Billy, and my aunts Karen and Kathy. We swam, I ruined my cell phone, had some good grub, scared Bryn with a perch, and had homemade ice cream. Yum! Then it was off to my house in Winfield to change out of lake gear. Also, Bryn took this opportunity to scare my cat Luna to death. Luna spent the majority of the time under my bed. Then it was off to Mom's again. We checked on Baby Cooper and talked awhile. Then it was off to my Grandma Bryant's. We usually do our celebrating at Pam and Ken's house (better vantage point for the fireworks) but Pam had to wake up super early for work the next day. So we got to see Pa (Phil in Brynley talk), my grandma, Levi, Haylee, Nick, Alan and Penny, Keith and Nicole and Ken. It was good to just catch up with everyone. Oh and I had MORE homemade ice cream!!

So going to all these places is too hectic. I think next year, or for the next holiday I need to be more prepared to make some choices. Yes, I do want to be everywhere at once but in the end it just leaves me wanting more. Like I got a little taste of everything but wasn't ever completely satisfied. To leave on a positive note, at least I got homemade ice cream twice! : ) Stick that in your bun and eat it. : ) 

Tahini and Mamma Mia

So awhile back I had this great idea to make hummus deviled eggs. Everyone knows that deviled eggs are delicious and well hummus is....edible. The only time I have really ever eaten hummus was with Katie at Rockabelly's. I liked it. However, I live in Winfield, KS and one of the ingredients Tahini (a middle-eastern paste made from ground sesame seeds) was not easily found at our local Wally World, Dillons, or Apple Mart. So I asked Katie to do the shopping for me in Manhattan. She informed me that she thought Tahini was nasty. Come to find out later it isn't all that bad. 

So I finally got this $8 jar of tan paste. Not to go off on a tangent, but Katie actually ended up buying the tahini in Wichita. I was like..."I could've done that." Even though I now had all the ingredients to making outstanding hummus, I still didn't make it. The novelty had worn off. 

Then Katie came down for 4th of July weekend and wanted to spend some quality time making hummus with me. Actually, she was just using me for my food processor, chick peas, paprika, lime juice, cumin and garlic and was going to take all the eggs to her family's 4th of July BBQ. Regardless, it was fun and the hummus turned out pretty tasty. Even though there was tahini in it. : )

After all the fun in my kitchen, we decided to go see this massive, amazing, huge fireworks show in Newkirk, Oklahoma. I am not sure why the okies wanted to shoot their fireworks off a day early but they are okies. Katie is a like a 8 year-old boy about fireworks. She loves them. So I went with Katie and her mom, Peggy to see the big show. It was the first time I have ever watched fireworks from a casino parking lot. The best part of the night was just sitting there for about an hour after the fireworks were over chatting it up with the girls. Peggy was actually my 4th grade social studies and sex ed teacher. Which I find kind of humorous now. 

After leaving the casino parking lot, we ran into some okies that though you could drive on the left side of the road. It was all good though, because we were listening to some Mama Mia. Finally, two people who thought it was fun to listen to some Honey, Honey all the way back home!

It's Been Awhile!

So it has certainty been a long time since I blogged! I really don't think I lead an interesting life. However, when I was a sophomore and junior in college I used this site called Xanga pretty frequently. When I go back and read the things I wrote about it cracks me up! It is also fun to say, oh I remember when that happened! So I thought this would be fun to read a few years down the road too.

So here it goes...

You know what I think is really disgusting? My head peeling. That's right, I didn't lather my hair in sunscreen, so therefore I got burned on my scalp. Which is now peeling. I am trying to get rid of all the flakiness and have succeeded in turning the top of my forehead really pink. Hopefully it goes away soon!

I got this sunburn from our float trip I went on last weekend. It was a pretty good time in Noel, MO. We got there late Friday night around 10. Finding the River Ranch Resort in the dark was quite the adventure. My GPS didn't like "River Road" (what a dh), map quest was well map quest, it was dark, I still had to sit up my tent in the dark, the roads were curvy and everyone had an opinion on where to go. I love my friends but was not in a good mood at this point. : ) So it gets better. Better as in, I ended up with the back end of my car in the ditch! We thought we were going in the wrong direction, so I pulled off on this narrow part of the road to turn around. Later I found out I was about half a mile from were I needed to be. Good thing we got there about 45 minutes later. Anyway, as I was backing up I backed up into this low ditch. Katie thought it would be a good idea to push. Needless to say, somehow she ends up kissing the pavement and bangs up her leg. lol Oh funny stuff. Pushing did NOT work. So I did the back and forth thing and in 30 seconds I was out of the ditch and my three friends were running for the car. Actually this is where Katie fell. : ) So off we headed in the wrong direction. By the way, this is the second time I have got a vehicle in the ditch...completely sober I might add.

The rest of the night was a good one. Lindsay and Adam finally got there around 2 AM. When Lindsay called I gave her really detailed instructions. I mean who wants to get lost at 2 Am?Then we went swimming! The next morning I woke up bright and early, cooked some breakfast burritos and got ready for our float trip.

We packed our coolers, I made some pink lemonade, and then we took this bus to our drop site. The bus trip was a good time. It was a school bus but all the seats were rearranged to face inwards. I am sure that this would not be fun in an accident where a bus rolls down the hill, but it does made for a more enjoyable bus ride.

We were in the river for 8 miles or about 8 hours. It was a great time but by the end of it I was pretty exhausted. As was everyone else. Plus we were starving! When we got back to camp we cooked a bunch of food and ate it all up.

What a good trip with my friends! I am sure this is going to be an annual trip. Next time I think I want to kayak the whole time. It was my favorite.

Can't want to spend some time at the lake this weekend for the Fourth!