Faith Conversations

I just spent about a hour talking to my brother in law, Ryan about Catholicism. Today I have gotten many jokes sent my way about "crazy Catholics" and about me going to a Catholic wedding and me being Catholic in general. Which is fine. I really don't mind because I think people are just really curious about faith in general. In fact, we are longing for something more than this world, Heaven, and sometimes we don't know that.

After the wedding Ryan made some joke that started our conversation. He was stumbling around for words and then just kind of blurted out, " Why are you..... or I mean what made you convert...or why are you Catholic?" At this point I kind of hate this question. Because I could answer in a few different ways:

1. My students (most true but also most difficult for others to understand)
2. The deaths of my Papa and Grandpa Selenke
3. Catholicism by research

I choose route three tonight because Ryan is a very factual guy. Which is a huge draw to Catholicism for me as well. I told him out of everything I had researched, Catholicism was the most true. Now I really don't want to get in details on any one specific thing because that isn't the point of this post. He agreed with me on the fact that other branches of Christianity all came Catholicism. He agreed that we all started as Catholics. But he didn't believe in all the churches teachings. Not five minutes into the conversation, he goes- "You know when you get involved with someone you won't be abe to use condoms?" Well I guess I better stop being Catholic then......

But really. It was hard to get my point across to him that this minor detail, never really crosses my mind as something to worry about. Of course I know the Churches teachings on condoms and I don't believe in using contraceptives. But then it got into the whole "I-know-this-person-who-is-Catholic-and-they-use-condoms" discussion. And really that was Ryan's big hold-up. He has meet too many lukewarm Catholics. Honestly, I understand his point.

People- DON'T BE LUKEWARM CATHOLICS!!!

I have no idea how to answer this when he brings it up. Other than that we are humans, and therefore we are stupid. :)

It was a good discussion though. Throughout the discussion it was apparent that Ryan was searching for something more. He said one other thing that I found kind of amusing. Understand that Ryan is very goal-oriented, has a inner drive to be successful and provide for his family. Ryan was also baptized before my sister and he got married about six years ago. Pretty much so they could be married in the Methodist church in Ark City. But anyway he talked about how he has read a lot of books about coaches or successful business people and most of them talk about how their belief in Jesus plays a part in that. He wants to understand that.

Anyway, please pray for my family. It would be the most amazing gift ever to be able to see my family share in my Catholic faith. I know that probably won't happen. But pray that Ryan is open to the Holy Spirit's promptings and that he can be a good leader in his faith for Kami, Brynley, Copper and the new little guy that's on the way.

Labeled

Most of the time people don't like to be labeled. Not that labels are untrue, but they more often than not limit the truth. If an individual is labeled a jock, they can have no other interests than lifting weights, drinking beer and watching ESPN. If an individual is labeled smart, they must love reading books, drinking coffee, playing with their chemistry set and watching The Big Bang Theory. I mean, surely this must be true!!

Actually, we all know better than this but we still make generalization with many people we know. I guess, what brings on this whole thought process is that I have been labeled. What you might ask? As a "church person". Oh the horror! As a "church person" I pray daily, attend church, dress in skirts, listen to TobyMac, and  believe in God. See I told you they're all true! : ) In all actuality I don't mind being labeled a "church person". It is just really interesting to hear some things that come out of people mouths.

On Wednesday, Catholics all over the world celebrated the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It was indeed an exciting day for me and for many. I even dressed in a skirt for mass that morning and then went to school still in said skirt. Some of my FFA officers arrived at the school to work on the mentor and recycling projects we are doing this school year. Their reactions to seeing me in a skirt and hearing the reasoning behind it, " You're like such a church lady." And for some reason my mind immediately jumps to the elderly women in daily mass. "What?!" hahaha

Simply put- it's hard to explain your faith sometimes. During retreat we had this activity called Me-In-A-Bag. Basically you pick objects that describe you and you tell other people what they mean to you. One of my items was my rosary. When it was time to ask questions at the end, almost every question that was asked to me was about that rosary or faith-related. Why didn't they ask me more about the Mamma Mia CD or the Lego man? Labeled.

And then later as I was sifting through my bag of mail during retreat, I came across more questions. These were questions about the Bible, (he was under the assumption that I had read the whole Bible), and questions about how I react when someone offends my faith.

The more I think of my new label, the more I can appreciate it. I think that many of my students don't receive any kind of faith background. Two of my officers talk openly with me about Jesus. But then most of them think I am just some holy woman who makes them pray at meals on retreat. So therein is my dilema, how much do I share? Faith-sharing can be very in your face. Faith-sharing can be taken so completely out of context and be drastically misunderstood.

I wish to be a good example for others. I certainly pray that I can lead others closer to Christ. I just don't want to be non-relatable to my students. To be labeled can sometimes set up a wall that blocks communication. It seems the minute people learn that I am serious about my faith they fail to remember all the other parts that I am too. Yes, a person can like Green Day and love adoration at the same time (never mind the fact that most people I know have no idea what adoration is). It applies to my students, family and friends. How can I be Christ-like to them without them even knowing? Because I fear the minute they catch on to my "church lady" ways they will turn tail and run the other way.

Stop Being a Girl

One of my current student's and I have this saying we like to say to each other, "Stop being a girl". I guess we both like to fashion ourselves as being some super strong-willed, non-emotional, independent,  superwomen. But I'm not. I am in fact a girl. And sometimes I do act like that stereotypical girl I hate to act like. That girl we tell each other to stop acting like. 

For example, I have a "sad" CD.....that I listen to. I have this weird jealous streak that appears smack dab out of nowhere sometimes. I like to dress nice AND then have people say I look nice. I like to eat ice cream just because I am happy, sad, with friends, hungry, or wanting to celebrate. I can take some things way to personally. I do get emotional. And lastly I hate goodbyes. 

And dang-it all week I have been acting like a girl! So I apologize if this whole post reeks of "being a girl". I have been at the school a lot this week. In fact, more than I have been for the whole month of July. As I am going through papers and rearranging things I keep getting reminders. Pictures, cards, letters, old assignments, old speeches I listened to countless times, signs hanging on the wall, items long tucked away in some random drawer, mobiles hanging from the ceilings, notes in the greenhouse.....just things everywhere. These things are awesome but they are making it extremely hard to focus on the upcoming school year. And I am not ready for school. 

I always joke with my kids that there is no way I could ever be a mom. It would just break my heart too much. I mean I can't imagine what it is like. I have spent almost everyday with some of these kids for the past four years and a mother has 18 years of that. Ouch. 

Before I took this years FFA officers on retreat I had a friend pray for me that I was completely "present" for my new kids. It is hard for me to not want my older kids there. It is hard for me to relearn how to do things again. It is hard for me to open myself back up to start all over again.

Each evening of retreat we had a reflections. The second evening two of the officers talked about taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. One of my officers called me out and said, "What about you, Bogart? What have you done lately to step put of your comfort zone." She went on, "You seem so confident. You seem like you'd try anything and aren't afraid to talk to people."

Which I think is so far from the truth. Oh from the mouths of babes. : ) But anyways I guess it just kind of hit me there. I have a lot to share with these kids. I have a lot to teach these kids. It is time to stop being a girl and get to work. These kids are chomping at the bit, full of ideas, and full of awesome things they will teach me. If only I will let them. 

This semester, I could really use some prayers. Prayers to be more present with my current students and prayers to trust in Christ. 

Jesus and Johnny: A Blast from the Past

Where has the summer gone? I really need to be doing more work in my classroom and I really need to work on planning out more of officer retreat. I mean retreat is Friday! I guess the plus size of this predicament is that I can't even begin to explain to you how completely awesome July has been. Hopefully, I will blog more about July later but this is about my little blast from the past. How it started:

Now that Emily has moved out, I am in the process of moving some of my things back from my mom's house. This doesn't help with focusing on school, as I want to look through all my junk. I spent a good three hours today listening to some really "interesting" burned CDs, old yearbooks, and reading old journals I had written. In high school I wrote in steno pads......wow those were interesting. :) A most special gem was the journal I kept the week I ran for a State FFA Office. It is kind of embarrassing. hahaha Anyway, it prompted me to look up an old blog I had in college on......Xanga. Pat yourself on the back if you even know what I am talking about. It is actually the cream of the crop as far as my blogging goes. It chronicles the last three years of college. Some of it makes me cringe. While most of it makes me laugh out loud. It is funny to see how much different I am. At the same time it is interesting to see how much different and how much the same my worries are today as they were then. Here is something I wrote in 2006. It is amazing to see my thirst and desire for Jesus expressed through a little Johnny Cash. Enjoy.

So I just got done watching Walk the Line. By the way, it is kind of weird that in my last two entries I have mentioned Johnny Cash. Anyway, do you ever feel like you are Johnny Cash? Like he was a super talented, driven, passionate guy who just so happened to have a pill-poppin problem. I kind of feel like that. Not that I have a drug problem or anything like that but I have my own issues. Everyone does. If we could just get past those things, I think we could truly live. Sometimes I feel like I must be living like Johnny in the scene where he walks all the way to June's. Pretty much the lowest you could ever get. He was really lucky to have June though. Who's my June? I don't really mean this in a sense of who is my man either. But who is my friend that would do what June did? Who will love me no matter what? And who is making sure that I live my life to the fullest....to how I really want to be living my life?

If you currently blog or journal- keep doing it! Even if you do seem a little crazy at times, it is pretty insightful when you read back through your words. Peace!