Catholic Conundrum #3: Grace Before Meals

Check out these other conundrums if you haven't yet already:

CC#1: Confessions
CC#2: The Eucharist


Just typing "Grace Before Meals" made me smile. It's also funny how a simple little prayer before eating can make some things so awkward.

Growing up, I had a variety of different experiences with praying before eating. My Mom's side of the family didn't really pray during our family gatherings. My Grandma Bryant's didn't really either, however we'd do this thing for Jesus at Christmastime. However, my Nannie and Papa, always prayed before meals. There was a time in my life where my Dad was living with them, so they pretty much helped raised us three girls. But even at my Nannie's house, my Aunt Karen would always be the one to pray, as she was kind of labeled the "church" one. Kind of a funny side note, my Aunt Karen was the one who gave me my first Bible, and the one that had the most concerning/legitimate questions for me when I told her I was converting. That was a good conversation. : )

So fast-forward to high school. I met Emily. Emily was one of my very best friends the last couple of years of high school and in college. She also just happens to be my RCIA sponsor. Emily always prayed before eating. In fact, it was a common occurrence for me to not to be paying attention and talking to her, turning around and seeing her making the sign of the cross with a little smile on her face. Whoopsie. I am glad Emily could share her faith in that way. Because she prayed before meals anywhere and everywhere and it didn't matter who was there.

Now fast-forward to the present year. I pray everyday but have an awful track-record for praying before meals. It's just not ingrained into my prayer life. I am like halfway through eating or I am driving down the road an hour later and remembering, whoops I forgot to do that again!
 
Here's a story for you and the real conundrum:

I had a friend from Sojourn, Frank coming down for day. I was going to take him to Nieves, a good mexican food restaurant, and then county fair it up. We are at Nieves enjoying some chips and salsa. Then the waitress brings us our orders. I am in the process of digging in and he goes "You want to say a prayer?"  Honestly, and this is terrible, I was like oh yeah this is what I do around this group of people. And then it hit me....... I didn't know the prayer!!! I knew it said bounty and amen. And all the other times we pray it, I sort of just listen. : ) Oh idiot, I am thinking in my head, "why haven't I memorized this yet?" So we/he prays for us and that is that. But it was good, I am glad somebody can remember to pray before eating. : )

I put that on my list of things to do and then forgot about it for the week. So the next weekend I am driving to Wichita to meet up with Frank again and then go to the Wine and Cheese Young Adult party at the Catholic Family Conference. I am literally on the turnpike and remember I haven't memorized that dang prayer yet!!! So what do I do? I google it and memorize it as I am driving down the turnpike. Good thing it is short and sweet. Technology was definitely my friend that day. 

So even after memorizing this and often times some of the other formal prayers as well, I am a little slower than some people. I have to think about what is coming up next, whereas most people don't have to think. They just say it. In fact, you take the big group of other people away from them, and they might have trouble saying it. However, if you take the big group of other people away for me it makes it way easier for me to remember it. Oh and the singing versus saying the prayers matters too! I am used to the Gloria being sung, and we I go somewhere where we just say it....it throws me off! :)

Here's looking forward to the next conundrum!

Catholic Conundrum #2: The Eucharist (Yes, I know, a serious thing to screw up) :)

So the summitt of the Catholic faith got screwed up by me. A couple of times in fact. Here are the tales:

So to keep in tradition, a little back-story first. I can never tell a short story it seems. As a Methodist, communion was a little odd for me. In fact it was held once a month and I tried to avoid church on those Sunday's. Mostly because I knew I wasn't baptized, so it felt weird to go up there with my family, being the lone one out. I felt like I was dong something wrong. I still went up and took communion at times and nobody yelled at me- but it was always weird for me.

So fast-forward to like my second mass ever. At least the second mass ever when I had intended to become Catholic. I had actually been to Catholic masses several times before with various friends throughout high school and college. But anyway, I was encouraged by a Catholic friend the night before to go up during Holy Communion and this time cross my arms in front of my chest to partake in a spiritual communion. I was a little unsure about this whole process- "Are you SURE that is okay?" and "What's going to happen?" were just a few of my silly questions I asked her. But anyway, the time was here to go up for spiritual communion......and I chickened out. lol But it was because the priest had switched sides on me!! He was on the opposite side from last week and some other eucharistic minister (I am sure I didn't know they were called this at the time) was on my side. And I had convinced myself they would not know what to do. So I didn't go up. Ugh.

BTW, I still don't know the answer to that question. What would the Eucharistic Minister do? Bless them? This was actually a common problem I had during the RCIA process. Thankfully, Fr. Mike usually stayed on the left side so 95% of the time I did go up for a spiritual communion. Which is where I still sit to this day.

So yes that was confusing. But now I don't have to worry about it. : )

Here is another story about Holy Communion:

This was also during RCIA, more specifically during my first Holy Week. Ahhhhhhh, Holy Week. I remember thee fondly. I actually think it was during Holy Thursday mass. I was really into this mass. I am not going to lie, on a few occasions I am just not completely there. It doesn't happen a lot but it does happen. Then there are times that I am super into mass. Thank you, Holy Spirit. This was how this day was going. We get to the second part of mass, and I am getting ready to partake in a spiritual communion. Like I am all in, wrapped up in stuff. I get up for the Eucharistic Feast, walking and praying. I get up to Fr. Mike. We both just kind of stare at each other. He looks confused. Why? Oh crap, my arms aren't crossed. I had them in prayer mode. But after we both kind of get our act together, he blesses me and I go on my merry way. Awww so close. jk so yeah that was a little embarassing. But I was just glad it was a priest I knew, so he would know that I wasn't actually Catholic...yet. Give me two days. : )

Okay then the next story happens two days later. Yeah, I am just that good. Okay, so it's the big day. I should really blog about this day sometime, because I actually haven't not even in my "old stuff". It truly was a day full of blessings and love. It started perfectly and ended perfectly. Coffee shop to Church. lol

Anyway, I was super excited for the Easter Vigil Mass. I was also super nervous...about stupid stuff. Mostly, I just thought I'd do something wrong in front of everyone. I even went into the church earlier that day to run through a few things with Fr. Mike and the servers. And I still didn't feel completely prepared. Becasue that is how I am. : ) lol

But the Easter Vigil mass came and I had just got through my baptism and confirmation unscathed. In fact, I was brand new! No words can describe this......honestly so AMAZING. So I thought I had got through all the standing in front of people, center of attention stuff. So I had told my sponsor and friend, Emily S. that I wanted her to switch me spots when we took our seats again. I believe this happened while we were standing at the front. Oh funny me. You see, I don't really like being the center of attention and while this stuff was once in a lifetime, amazing, glorious, beautiful stuff, I still didn't want to be the first one to take Holy Communion. So my plan worked, she was on the outside now and I could second. Then Father says, oh well since this is a special occasion, we are going to let Kasie and Eric take communion first. WHAT!!

Plan was foiled. So I kind of smile and laugh a little with Emily. And go up for my first Eucharistic Feast. I wish I remembered it better. The whole night is a bit of a blur of all sorts of emotions. And this is the blurriest. I think that as I walked up there my mind shut off. I have no idea what I was thinking. I did bow. But then, I kind of opened my mouth and held out my hands at the same time. I realized at this time I really hadn't thought through how I wanted to receive Jesus. I mean I have studied and planned constantly for months and I forgot this?! Father Mike tried putting it into my mouth but then into my hand, and I confused the altar server. Oh man! Then Father kind of laughs and smiles and I hold out my hands. Amen. Success. And then, I chance a glance at my family and friends as I walk over to the wine, and can definitely tell I am going to get crap about this later. Embarrassing? Oh yeah, but well worth the wait and the mess up!

I apologized to Fr. Mike after mass, and he totally thought it was the server. It was totally my fault though. Nice guy. : ) And yes, I was given crap about this after mass. They thought it was humorous. But I didn't care because I just felt beyond blessed to have them all there to share that moment with me.

Catholic Conundrum #1: Confessions

So as a newbie to the Catholic faith I frequently find myself in a few puzzling situations, hence the conundrum. : ) It's all good though because I can usually laugh about them later. You have to have a sense of humor in life. Plus, I don't think God minds. : )

So many of these situations have already happened....... A LOT actually. So I will do some back-tracking at some point. But here is the newest addition and it deals with dun dun dun.......

Confession!

More specifically confession numero dos. Before two comes first.....So my first confession actually occurred after Easter and after I was baptized. So I was one of the lucky ones that doesn't have to do first confession before becoming Catholic but even luckier still to be completely wiped clean.....for awhile at least.

It was a crazy cool experience. Perfect in fact. A few details just so you can understand my second confession. My first was face to face. And the priest was pretty much awesome. It was also at a retreat. So maybe a little out of the normal situation. I think he was able to help me more than normal.

So second go-around. I go to a church in Wichita with the intention of getting there early and going to confessions. I walk in and freak out a little bit. The reason for my mini freak out was that I couldn't really find where the confessionals were. I was all prepared to go and then I couldn't find where to go in the church. So I actually start praying.... "I am sorry and I'll go as soon as I can but I can't find the freaking thing!" Kinda like that anyway. : )

But then, I look up and I see a person by the wall.......and I am like ooohhhhhhhh. So I had already wasted a bunch of time and during the week they only hear confessions for a short amount of time before the beginning of mass. So I go to the wall even thought there is probably like 7 minutes left. My notecard, aka cheat sheet, for the order of things is in my pocket. My hand is on my notecard. Out walks a guy.

Yay, I mean crap, my turn. So I go into the confessional. It was a bigger room than I expected. I could choose the chair or the screen. I chose the screen this time. I kneel down and really didn't know when to start. He goes "You can start now." Definitely in a very mean, mean, scary voice. For sure. : )Just trust me on this. And I am like all flustered because I am thinking "I thought you start.....you know..... in the name of the Father..." But he didn't. And I didn't. blah.

So he says again "Go ahead, start now!" Once again.......mean voice. So because I thought he should have started the sign of the cross, I just start with the "Bless me Father part...."

Ugh. So I felt rushed and like I did it wrong. And I wasn't a huge fan of the priest by the end of it. Then he gave me my penance; Three Hail Marys. What? I was thinking....I do this anyway. I was expecting something more related to what I was talking to him about....like my first confession. But over all it was much less personable. But after thinking about this, I guess it's ok. Afterall, I was running out of time before mass, and had never gone to this confessor before.

Regardless of all that conundrumness.......it was good. It was good to familarize myself with getting used to this sacrament. It was good to kinda dive right in again. And since then I have learned more about the sacrament of reconciliation through the many pamphlets and books about this. Yes, I am a nerd but I do feel more comfortable about confessions now. Need some more experience though.

And yes I do expect many more confession conundrums.....in fact I just experienced another two days ago. More on that next time! : )