A Place Only He Can Go

Last Friday night instead of going to the homecoming game, I ventured forth to get a good dose of Needtobreathe with a few friends. It was a good decision, and it helped me breathe a little. : ) First of all, I felt very blessed to be in the company of some good people. Just in my mind, very, very strong women.

Secondly, it’s Needtobreathe!! There were a couple of instances during the concert where I was reminded that they aren’t necessarily a Christian rock band but a rock band with very awesome Christian tendencies. And even though I love their rock side, I LOVE their tender side. I could listen to them sing Something Beautiful over and over and over again. (TANGENT) I am sure we all think of something different when we hear songs but I am willing to bet you think the same thing I do when listening to that song. And THAT really is something beyond beautiful. It is like the ultimate something beautiful. And I can’t imagine what is going to happen. Anyway……..

My new favorite Needtobreathe song:

A Place Only You Can Go

And not because they sang this song pretty much like 20 feet away from me. Not because they sang this acoustic. Not because they made us all scoot in super close to each other so we could hear. Not because the place was so quiet you could hear a pin drop as they were singing. And not even because everyone joined in and sang Stand By Me at the song’s end. Well on second thought, maybe that is why. ☺

But here is the real reason. On my drive home I watched the video I took of the final song. I know, super safe, huh? Then I watched it again. And again. I just couldn’t stop watching and listening to that song. I was catching most of the lyrics now and I could completely relate. And the chorus…..it’s something beautiful for sure.

Oh I know this song won't do
Enough to prove my love to you
In my heart you'll always know
There is a place only love can go
There is a place only you can go

And to me here is what I was hearing:

Oh I know this song won't do
Enough to prove my love to You
In my heart You'll always know
There is a place only Love can go
There is a place only You can go

And that is exactly how I feel lately. It's like a love song for Him! I love Him. But I don’t feel like I will ever love Him enough. Kind of frustrating. But I also know there is a Love we all yearn for. A Love that we search for all the time when we feel empty or lonely. At times, we do struggle and we look everywhere we can think of to find answers. But we (I) have got to realize He is the ONLY one that can fulfill that need. There is a place in each of us only for Him. So let Him take care of you. Cool thing is….. I think I am getting there. He and I have been talking about this lately. I have been praying that He fills me with Love. And that I accept it. And that I “love Him all I can.” My love is never going to be perfect but I am going to keep at it!

Check these lyrics out! Only bad part of the song- it’s too short! : )

Pain is alive in a broken heart
The past never does go away
We were born to love
And we're born to pay
The price for our mistakes

Grace, she comes with a heavy load
Memories, they can't be erased
Like a pill I swallow, he makes me well
And leaves an awful taste

Oh I know this song won't do
Enough to prove my love to you
In my heart you'll always know
There is a place only love can go
There is a place only you can go

Take my notions and words to heart
This is the cry of a man
I can't bring you fortune or noble life
But I'll love you all I can

Oh I know this song won't do
Enough to prove my love to you
In my heart you'll always know
There is a place only you can go

Oh I know this song won't do
Enough to prove my love to you
In my heart you'll always know
There is a place only love can go
There is a place only you can go

And now at last the video I watched over and over again. Watch it until the end!!

A Place Only You Can Go/ Stand By Me

Dishwashing=Therapy

Where to begin? From the beginning..... nope that'd take too long. ;) Let's just say I was driving myself pretty much insane yesterday. Nothing particularly bad happened but I was finding it very hard to function and  to get through the day. I even had some pretty fun things planned for class and it was like my mind was everywhere but in class.

In fact, it didn't really even get better until around 7 pm that night when I started cooking and watching Gilmore Girls. haha However, in the midst of me freaking out pretty much all day, I cleaned the kitchen at the school, all the coolers, the pans we had used for various things, the oatmeal I had spilled all over the place that morning, wiped up all the counters, cleaned the cupcake pans, and put everything away. It made me feel better! As I was doing this, I kept thinking I cannot sit down for lunch or I might not make it. So I just kept washing dishes.....even while realizing I was being slightly crazy.

I think most of the day I was beyond frustrated with myself. I know that this month is the month that we celebrate Mary as being Our Lady of Sorrows and that today is even the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. And when I went to adoration this past Monday, there was this awesomely, amazing new Marian statue. Where was this statue was positioned you might ask? Well at the foot of the cross of course! And so adoration was pretty much amazing that night!

Mary and Mary's sorrows have been on my mind like crazy. The fact that she could actually be there and watch Jesus be mocked and tortured and crucified is beyond my comprehension. And it's not like today times when people understood what Jesus was all about. People didn't really now all about Jesus like we do today. Plus, not to mention all the suffering she endured her whole life simply because she said "yes" to God's will, before and after His death. She suffered so much but so beautifully.

I could not do that. She gives us this perfect example of suffering- how not to be afraid and how we should  not to try to run from suffering. And at that point yesterday, while doing those dishes, I was soooooooo far from the example that she has given us. And I was so mad at myself. Just buck up.

Yesterday was a struggle for me. I really wasn't seeing God in things. I doubted God so many times. I fought with God all day. Finally, coming home, cooking, eating dinner with friends, and watching Gilmore girls started to fix things. Then I was at it again at about 10 pm that night......doing dishes, laundry, and cleaning my room....... and finally having a reasonable conversation with Him. I went to bed at peace........... and with a really clean school and home. :)

I know that I will continue to struggle with this thing. I could really use some prayers to help make me stronger, to help make me more like my Momma Mary.

In Christ, Through Mary! 

Perdonare- yay Latin!

It has been an interesting week. All week long I have kind of felt like I was holding things back or pushing things to the side. In particularly my conversations with Him. It happens.

Monday was labor day, and because of that adoration wasn't held. Tuesday.....the only thing I remember about Tuesday was that I got a letter in the mail. More on that later. Wednesday through Friday nothing super spectacular. I didn't feel very productive all week, the letter was on my mind, and I really didn't feel like I had had good prayer almost all week. I fell asleep either trying to pray the rosary or doing night prayer from my phone every single night. I guess that is my own fault for laying down....

Anyway, I went to mass tonight. Seeking goodness and Love. I sure did find it!

I went to mass at Sacred Heart tonight because I was working at school and also because I wanted to go to confession. (I know......I should really give Fr. Mike a shot at some point!) However, after going to confession tonight and then having a whole homily on forgiveness, I must say I do like Fr. Ruben!

Fr. Ruben must have been reading my mind. He told us about how the root of the word forgiveness comes from the Latin word perdonare. And this means to "give completely without holding back".

Something I don't feel I had really been doing at all this past week. I have definitely been holding back my conversations with Him and doing just enough to get by. What do we think sometimes? On a day-to-day, minute-by-minute, second-by second basis He gives himself freely to us. Completely, all of Him- because we are sinners. And when we go to Him in confession He will forgive us.....completely. No matter what. He is not going to half-heartily forgive one of two of our sins and say oops sorry you have reached your max on that sin.

Lots of different things were randomly popping into my head during mass. Here is one of them-

This whole pardonare thing kind of reminds me of something I meditate on when I pray the rosary and pray about the Crowning of the Thorns. I watched the Passion of the Christ for the first time this past year and I guess for the first time I have really learned more about the Passion. It is so heartbreaking. Mostly, because we are the crowning of the thorns. I am the crowning of the thorns. Everytime I sin, I am mocking Jesus. You may not be able to picture yourself insulting Jesus or making Him wear a crown of thorns. But is that not what we do? And then He turns around and forgives us......He gives Himself to us completely and holds nothing back. That just kind of blows my mind! In a good way. :)

And Surprise! It reminds me of the lyrics to this song: You Loved Me Anyway by Sidewalk Prophets.

Most especially this part:

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
See now, I am the man who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking
ground
Yes then, I turned away with a smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
Yes,You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
You love me, yes You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me

Plus, I give you kuddos if you can go to any mass today or tomorrow and not sing the 7 times 70 song in your head. :)

What an awesome lesson He has once again provided for us all! Never forget that He holds nothing back from us, and that we should strive to hold nothing back from Him. Don't bury His grace. Love Him and show this Love to others.

Goodnight! State Fair is calling my name in the A.M.!

Quick Funny

It's Friday!! Getting ready to work on my stained glass project until we have our football tailgate here in a bit. But thought I'd share a couple of fun tidbits. :)

Today during my plan I was listening to my Ipod and had it on shuffle. Awesome song, after awesome song kept coming on my Ipod. I was like, what is the deal? All my favorite songs are playing back to back. Finally I got up to check it out--- it was shuffling my top 25 most played songs. : ) ahhhhhhhhhh

So definitely a little bit of a GSD, good story dude.

But anyway the real reason I wanted to post:

Yesterday morning I received this text as I was getting ready:

Happy feast day of the birth of Mary!

So I was all smiley and such. I had actually kind of forgotten about it. And it made me happy. And this news influenced my decision to take the long way to school that morning. Beautiful drive. : )

Anyway, so then this conversation ensued with my roommate:

"Did you know it was the feast day of the birth of Mary?"

"No I forgot!" "Me too."

"Well, that settles it. Happy birthday Mary,  I am making brownies!"

So we each ate like half a pan of brownies. Hey, it was a small pan. :)

The Greatest Philosopher Ever- Brynley Renee : )

Seriously, this kid is pretty amazing. And so honest.

For example:

I took her to the football game last Friday and we went to the restroom. She announced this to the whole restroom:

"Kasie Boo my butt is all sweaty!"

As we are driving, and I am ashamed to say, listening to Katy Perry's, Last Friday Night (after just teaching about inputs nonetheless):

"Kasie Boo this song says damn! Don't tell my Mom I said damn."

Oh Brynley, you make me laugh. Which is exactly what I did in both situations.

But then Brynley just randomly talked to me about some pretty amazing topics. Bryn has been having some difficulties with starting kindergarten. She says "I miss Mommy in my brain." Basically, she cries when she has to be separated from Kami. So I decided I was going to ask her about school.

We were talking about for a little while. Then she mentions "Bible School". So I thought she was talking about like Sunday School. So I ask her if they are going to church, she quickly corrects me and tells me not church but her old pre-school. Then I tell her to ask Mommy about going to church. : ) Kami is gonna love me.

But I guess since we were on the topic of church she felt the need to ask me this. "Do you know why we have crucifixes?" At this point I am a little perplexed that she knows the word crucifix, so I curiously ask, "No, why?"

"Well they really put Jesus on a cross and nailed REAL nails into his body." I respond, "Yes that is right."

Then she continues, "And Julianna told me we hang them in our houses, and then......duhh duhhh duhhhhhh...... the house is HAUNTED."

For reals. lol

I explain to her that she needs to get new friends :) jk and then we talk a little bit about what the meaning is really about.  I tell her that crucifixes help remind us that Jesus died for us.

She pipes in, "Because He loves us. He loves us very, very much." I think she knew all along. :)

But then, on the same ride home she amazes me again.

She said something to this nature:

"That's a crescent moon!" Once again, I am left thinking how do you know the word crescent?

She continues:

"Mimi loves crescent moons. Do you think I should tell her about it? But I like round moons. Did you know that the moon stays in the same spot so that no matter where you are, you can see the moon?"

"Hello God, it's Kasie. Are you playing a funny joke on me?"

You see, I have this things with moons. They can be crescent, round, full, huge, little, orange, amazily beautiful moons. Really it doesn't matter, because everynight when I look to the night sky I am reminded of my Momma Mary.

Check this out- It's one of my favorite parts of the book The World's First Love, Chapter 5, p.76:

"As our love does not start with Mary, so neither does it stop with Mary. Mary is a window through which our humanity first catches a glimpse of Divinity on earth. Or perhaps she is more like a magnifying glass; she intensifies our love of her Son and makes our prayers more bright and burning. 
     God, Who made the sun, also made the moon. The moon does not take away from the brillance of the sun. The moon would be only a burnt-out cinder floating in the immensity of space were it not for the sun. All its light is reflected from the sun. The Blessed Mother reflects her Divine Son; without Him, she is nothing. With Him, she is the Mother of Men. 
     On dark nights we are grateful for the moon; when we see it shining, we know there must be a sun. So in this dark night of the world when men turn their backs on Him Who is the Light of the World, we look to Mary to guide their feet while we await the sunrise."

Yes, Brynley, Momma Mary is there for you, me, and everyone else. No matter where you are. In the dark. In the light. So chat your Momma up!

In Christ, Through Mary.

To me

My head is kind of everywhere right now. This time around it is looking to be a good thing. ;) So there is sure to be lots of posts this week if I am not too busy!

Lots of good driving time this weekend has provided me with good thinking time. Plus, good little surprises like the song above. Thank you, ipod shuffle.

To Me......ahhh I am so glad you come on shuffle because I had sort of forgotten about you. In fact, I listened to it about 4 times back-to-back on my drive back to AC. And each time I listened to it I thought of something a little different. Here was my thought process:

First of all, I can NOT listen to song without thinking of a few people......this song reminds me of my kids, my students. My kids go through rough situations....divorce, high school drama, self-image issues, insecurities, fear, loneliness, not being able to be themselves, pressures to drink, pressures to decide what they have to do for the rest of their life (why do we make them do this, again?), feelings like they can't live out their faith, and just LIFE.

And sometimes it does break my heart. Because they are AMAZING. So anyway, this song is pretty much exactly what I would say to each of them.

But guess what? The more I listen to it......the more I realize it is God singing this song to each of my kids. Go ahead and let your heart smile. Mine sure did when this thought entered my head. 

Then I listened to it a couple more times with this thought in my head- this is God's love song to my students.  Hold up! Another thought popped in my head.

He is singing this to me too.

That is exactly what I needed to hear from Him. The fact of the matter is, no one knows us like Him. No one loves us as much as Him. He will never leave us. In fact nothing we could do, could make Him leave. I feel so beyond blessed.

Happies o' Habitudes

I wrote this after classes on Thursday.

Today I felt like I had my best armor on. It was astoundingly awesome. I really just felt His presence with me all day.

I really am blessed to have a really respectful, on-task, engaged group of eight-graders to work with each morning. Just this morning, I met a new student that was placed in my class. She did not look happy to be there but I felt an instant connection with her after talking with her for less than 2 minutes. I asked where she lived before moving here. She told me Wisconsin. Which immediately made my day! I told her I loved Wisconsin people! Really that’s the truth. : ) Lots of good FFA buddies from my travels to Wisconsin. Then after that brief discussion about all the cool people in Wisco she felt invited into my classroom. And that, my friends, is why I love teaching.

Then on Purple days I get to teach Floral Design. This is going to be a great class. It is already my favorite. We did a habitudes lesson today for the first time. As a class we decided to try to do one once a week, for about 30 minutes a class. So yes a lot of time out of floral design concepts but I can already tell by the discussions going on today that it will be time well spent. Mostly, because He was totally in class today. These kids were even talking about Him!

We did the Habitude Personal Laptop to start things off. Why not, right? It is all about putting good things into your mind because what we put in is actually what will come out of us. It is what we will be. We talked about all the negative inputs we put into out minds: some tv shows, the media, possibly facebook, some friends we may have, things we read, music we listen to, etc. Then we talked about how we have to consciously make an effort to control and monitor these inputs so that we can be assured that we are putting positive inputs into our minds. We are what we read, hear, and think about. Make sure it is good stuff you are putting in.

So we did an opening activity of Big Fish, Small Fish. Then we broke into two small groups for the reading, brainstorming and discussing. I roamed around and dropped eaves on their conversations.

So Happies O’ Habitudes Eavesdropping

-    The God conversation.
o    Students were making a list of all the positive inputs in their lives in small groups. They got about 7 deep in the list and someone says God. Then they all say “I can’t believe we didn’t think of Him sooner.” They laugh about it and someone says offers up a very logical solution, “We better just draw an arrow to the top!” This. Was. Funny.

-    The baptism conversation.
o    After most of the discussion was over and not everyone was back in their seats, we had this conversation with a couple of students and I. This is what he said to me: “Did you know I am not even baptized? Yeah but, I figured that is a good thing I could do. My life is just so crappy but maybe I can do that.” I say, “That would be a very good thing to do. Do you want to be baptized?” He thinks he does. Then another student, “You let me know if you do for sure. Or if you have questions you can talk to me.” Now just how awesome is that?

-    The Martin Luther conversation.
o    A couple of my students go to the same youth group. Apparently, they were required to read the preface of the Lutheran Catechism the night before. However, they were expressing how they were frustrated with not digging deep enough in the meaning and not getting their questions answered. Obviously, this type of conversation piqued my interest quite a bit. I could not help but listen in on this one. It was just good to hear them talking about such a great positive influence in their life. Yes they were slightly frustrated, but these kids wanted to know more! Awesome!

We are also keeping comp books in this class. They serve as bellwork/learning logs, 212/Habitudes reflections, and a great communication/questioning tool. I was very excited to read and write comments in their books to them after today. They all said that habitudes was something they really did enjoy learning about today. I was surprised at some comments left for me. Some of these students really need/want something or someone to help them. Pray that the Holy Spirit can work through me, so that I can serve my students to the best of my ability and that I can bring them closer to Him.

Riddle Me This

I really wasn't going to post this but then again I really wasn't planning on typing it last night either. : ) 


It was an email I sent to a friend but I think it will fit in just wonderfully on this blog too. 

I love how Pandora brings up oldies but goodies. In fact, you should probably put a lot of Five for Fighting songs on the list.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhnpgFD82Io

My favorite part is when he talks about what his son says to him after school. : )

But here is food for thought: Even thought the lyrics are good, you and I both know they aren't the whole truth. lol

For example:
"If ya think about it, man, yeah we got it all, cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball."

Not quite buddy. :)..........We do "got it all", but we aren't "all we got". That is beautiful to me. Even when I have trouble understanding this, as I often times do- it is still beautiful to me. We have all the Love in the world even without each other. That Love is everything. That Love is all we need.

Just couldn't get this out of my head tonight. Happy Thursday! ;)