And seriously, this Thursday did not disappoint. All in all, it was a pretty good second day of class. I was very excited to experience a planning period for the first time in a year. Last year I did not get a planning period, however this year I get one every other day. Which is fantastic! I could have opted for a planning period both days, but then I would have had to drop Floral Design. Which I wasn't willing to do at all, as it would have left many of my seniors without an ag class.
But anyways, my happy of today happened after school was over, after my wonderful planning period, and after my 7 pm FFA officer meeting. I decided to stop by Phil's after my meeting. Then I had to leave again to get a book from a student. But then I finally made it back. I would just like to say God knows what is up. He knows what He is doing.
I got to spend the next two hours of my evening talking teacher talk with Megan and then having some "ice tea" with the boys in the garage. I hope this is how every Thursday night is spent for the rest of the year! The best part is....I had planned to spend about 10 minutes at Phil's, just to get a little of my mail. My auto insurance still gets mailed there......but ended up staying forever. Didn't even get home until after 10:30.
I love my brother, Levi. I have wrote about this before, maybe not on here, but he always says exactly the right things. I don't know what I would do without him. Growing up, Levi and I were kind of paired up. Kami, my older sister, was kind of on her own, although we were and still are pretty close. So it was kind of like Kami, then Kasie and Levi, and then the two little girls, Kaitlyn and Megan. So Levi is definitely the best brother I could have ever have asked for. Plus, he finally asked me about Frank. haha Then there is Clint. Which Clint kind of gets thrown in the Kasie/Levi pairing along with Keith, my other cousin. We all had quite a good time growing up shooting bb guns at each other, playing in the tree line and making up epic good guy/bad guy games.
Funny thing tonight.....walked in the garage to Levi giving Clint a haircut in the garage. Funny stuff! But that pretty much describes their relationship. But tonight just reminded me so much of how I need to be spending my time. This is my family! I really hadn't hung out with Levi and Clint like this since Manhattan. What is the dealio? For realio?
Heck, Clint and I are even going through some of the same stuff. We talked the typical school talk, Clint is helping with our Ag Issues team.... but then we started talking about all the hangups that come with dating. It was quite entertaining. I have come to the conclusion that we worry and make up so much crap in our heads that it isn't even funny. : ) The things I think of.......ridiculous! But at least it is just not me. : )
So I don't know what to think sometimes. I know that I feel like I keep getting reminders lately from Him. For example, here is a picture I took in my school hallway.....
My school hallway! Why the heck was this in my school hallway? I was not in Wisconsin! But this whole solidarity concept has been on my mind a lot lately. We need people. But really we need Him more than we need people! And I am struggling with that a bit. So how does this solidarity thing really work?
I really feel I was brought closer to Him through the Holy Spirit, working through people. But then I felt scared. Mostly because I didn't know if I could do "this" without certain people. Basically, I was relying on other people more than Him. Which is not such a good thing and I was about to learn a lesson. And I really didn't want to learn this lesson. Mostly, because it really sucks sometimes... but more and more I feel like God is trying to teach me to just rely on Him. And believe me, I sure do put up a fight. So I am left asking this question a lot, "What about solidarity, God?"
So I usually just have this conversation with Him and then end up being really confused as to where to go next. But then I just know this.....there are people out there going through exactly the same thing. Or at least something similar. There are new converts, there are new teachers, single people, my cousin Clint, my brother Levi, my Sojourn friends, a new friend I finally met at Holy Name, my students, all who help can make me a better person. They can help me in my journey. We can help each other get to Heaven. We can help and support each other. We can keep each other sane. But why do I always end up relying on these people too much?
So now I am even more confused on how to not do this. Regardless, I am very blessed to have an evening such as tonight. It was an evening of solidarity. Obviously, I don't have all the kinks worked out. But I feel good that I am thinking about these questions finally. I am starting to be more aware of how the realtionships in my life are all tied to the number one realtionship in my life, Jesus Christ. Yes, God does want us to have these earthly realtionships that seem to satisfy our human natures. However, we need to keep our hearts set on His realtionship. We need to make sure we are falling in love with Him, even when it is so easy to turn to others for instant relief. I know His plan is going to be indescribable, and CRAZY! However, I am human, and just need to be pushed and prayed for in making sure I turn to Him above all people and things.
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