The Best Five Minutes

For the past several weeks the best 5 to 10ish minutes of my week happen right before confirmation class on Wednesday nights. Sometimes the time spent here is even more precious than my time spent in adoration.

After setting up for class, I sneak away for a few minutes to the church before the doors get locked. At Holy Name, there is a small side chapel that is attached to the main church. This is where we have adoration on Monday nights, daily mass when school is not in session and it acts like kind of an overflow area for Sunday mass.

But on Wednesday nights the side chapel is dark. The red candles are lit. Jesus is in the tabernacle. And there is no one else around. Well except the choir people in the choir loft. However, the side chapel is just barely/conveniently hidden from the choir loft in such a way that I can listen to their music but they cannot see me. :) I love it. I pray and listen as they practice the Gloria and Holy, Holy, Holy and random mass songs.

And now that it is cold outside it is even more perfect and cozy. For some reason I imagine all the crazy things going on around me, all the struggles, all the normal daily distractions of life being on the outside of that church building. It's literally my sanctuary. For my weekly "Best Five Minutes" I know that God is good.

For this song I know that God is good.

A Glimpse of Glory

Two weekends before my trek to Indianapolis for National FFA Convention I found myself in Lincoln, Nebraska. Growing up a mere five minutes from Oklahoma, this was only the second time in my life that I had made it to the Cornhusker state.

I was going on a retreat and it was going to be with the School Sister's of Christ the King. I was originally supposed to be going with another friend of mine, however plans had changed and I ended up going by myself. When I arrived I quickly picked up on the fact that this was to be a silent retreat. Somehow, both my friend and I had missed that small detail. Regardless, it was definitely exactly what I needed. It was a quiet two days. In fact, I could not wait for that hour or so of recreation we got on that Saturday night. It was actually pretty joyful- the most joyful I had been in awhile- and it was obviously a fruit of the silence. 

I had never been on a silent retreat. I had never prayed that much in my life either. Mass, Liturgy of the hours, adoration, talks and several mediations each day. In fact, I remember sitting in the chapel, feeling like I had no worries floating in my head; I had prayed them all away. I did reach a point on Sunday morning, where I was done. I was tired and I knew there was one more meditation coming up but I wasn't sure if I was going to do it. Maybe I would just sit in the chapel and do nothing. :)

However, after some much needed coffee, I was feeling my second wind coming on. This time we got to pick what ever meditation we wanted from our book. As I was scanning the titles, nothing was catching my eye. Then I saw, "A Glimpse of Glory." Well that sounds awesome! Who wouldn't want a glimpse of Jesus? 

That morning I traveled with Jesus to the top of mountain and witnessed His transfiguration all while remaining in that church pew. :) However, it made me realize how much Jesus does for us still. He knows our weaknesses, our doubts and our fears. But He never leaves us alone. Just as Jesus strengthened Peter, James and John by taking them up to the mountain with Him that day, he does that for me and for you. He knew all the events to come with his crucifixion and knew they would need help keeping their faith. He provided exactly what they needed. 

Sure, this retreat has helped me when I "came down from the mountain", but it also is much more than that. It's the people, opportunities, and seemingly meaningless events that Jesus puts into our lives that help strengthen us everyday. It's the faith and the hope that he will continue to do this out of love for us. Jesus is so good to us and I can't wait to someday get that glimpse of glory and look upon His face. 

Mary's Heart

Last Monday during my adoration hour I decided to do a reflection/meditation out of this book I have. I was reading scripture in Philippians and then in the 2 chapter of Luke.

The scene in Luke was that of Jesus' birth. Definitely a story that most people, myself included, would say they are very familiar with. However, I got to this line, "And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.", and I just couldn't get past it. How could I have missed this before?! The more I thought of this, the more awestruck I became with Mary. This woman is amazing! 

Keep in mind I had just held my weeks-old nephew in my arms the day before. How could Mary hold the infant Jesus in her arms and know what she knew and not go crazy? Then I began to think- when did Mary know that Jesus would die like he did? 

Later that night I had a discussion with a friend, and we both concluded we thought most likely Mary knew a bit later with prophecy of Simeon. Which on a completely non-related side note, it was cool to get some context about Simeon's prophecy since it's used in Night Prayer. Obviously, I could see that it was from Luke when praying Night Prayer but things usually don't click for me until they do. :) 

However, even if when Mary held Jesus in her arms and didn't really have the slightest clue about the heartbreak she would experience later,  she is still amazingly strong. To have that much faith in God to ponder all things just in your heart, is a little hard for my brain to wrap around. And that line still gets to me.....especially when it is practically repeated later in Luke 2:51. Which is after the prophecy and after she lost and then found Jesus in the temple. Not to mention to just imagine you were Mary and holding that baby in your arms. Jesus was completely dependent on her, just like any other baby that comes into this world. Even more beautiful is that she was completely dependent on Him. Jesus was Mary's whole life; from conception to assumption. 

After all this Mary and baby Jesus meditating I was really excited to hold my baby nephew again. On Friday, we all had the day off from school. I went to mass, visited a bookstore, and headed to see my sister and my favorite little people. Ky was a little fussy at first but within 10 minutes he was out cold. I held my sleeping nephew in my arms for about an hour and a half as he got in his nap. Ky has colic and is usually pretty fussy so Kami was really excited this was occurring and asked me if she could shave her legs and clean the bathrooms. haha Meanwhile, with Ky in my arms, I thought about how at one point Jesus was so small and helpless just like him. I tried to imagine how Mary must have felt......I know this is a bit futile but I still tried. :) And as Ky continued napping on my chest, I prayed a rosary for him. It was perfect. The little guy is just so adorable. 

Oh and one last thing, while at the bookstore that day, I came across a holy card with the 7 Sorrows of Mary. Once again, I had heard of this before, but like I said it doesn't click until it does. After what Mary went through, I know that she can and will help us with our sorrows here on earth. What a strong momma we have!