Carpooling Conundrums : )

I believe that the object of carpooling is pretty much to save money. And if you live in big cities, you can use the carpool lane on highways. I have also heard that some people put fake people, aka mannequins, in their cars just so they can use the carpooling lane. Tsk. Tsk.

Today was my first day carpooling with the high school cross country coach, Misty. This summer I would frequent College Hill, this little coffee shop here in Winfield, quite a bit during the week. And about every time I would go, I would run into Misty. We ended up exchanging numbers. Anyway, she was always asking me about carpooling. I would always say sure, that MIGHT be something we look into. : ) I did see advantages to carpooling however these mostly existed for other people.

However, I was really thinking: "I do not want to carpool. I do not want to carpool. I do not want to carpool." lol I even tried to get out of it without straight up saying, "Hey Misty, I do not want to carpool."

ME: "Well you see I get there pretty early. Like around 6:45 at the latest."
 (Which is true..... sometimes even earlier.)

HER: "That's early! But I need to get to school earlier anyhow."

Dang it.

So I really couldn't find a good excuse for after school stuff. Afterall, she coaches and usually gets done by 5:30. Which is good. It means I have to leave at 5:30. To come home and do normal stuff. : )

The main reason I didn't really want to carpool was kind of selfish. Basically, me being selfish with my time. I am not really a morning person. It is kinda my me time; a time when I don't have to deal with people. A plus of getting to school early! I especially love the drive to school in the morning. Good prayer time, music time and there is usually something pretty around me. Especially, if I take the long route to school. So my mornings are going to be tough to give up but I think it will work out for the better.

Back to the whole saving money thing.....yeah I am pretty sure that is not going to happen with this carpooling situation. Drove back to Ark City tonight. haha But I didn't go to school. Just to my Mom's to return a book and then to adoration. That might happen a lot. : )

First day, was pretty good. I have no doubt that there is a reason why God brought Misty into my life and a reason He is not allowing me to talk myself out of this carpooling deal.

.................even though I was happy when she was sick on Monday and that meant I got to drive myself to school one more day. Yes, I realize that makes me a bad person. : )

God bless!

Growing Weary

When I went on Sojourn, pretty much one of the best parts was receiving letters. People I didn't know, sent me these letters. Well, I know quite a few of them pretty well now! But anyway I do have a few favorites. I also really liked when some people put prayers in their letters. One of my favorite prayers was on the back of a letter:

Morning Prayer

Grant, O Lord, that none may love thee less this day because of me. That never a word, deed, or action of mine may drive one's soul from thee. And ever more daring, I ask of thee, that souls may be brought to you today because of me. Amen. 

And when you stop in think of about this.....what better prayer for a teacher to say each morning. However, sometimes the last little line kind of scares me. Because sometimes that can be the most uncomfortable thing to do. Which leads me into last Sunday's first reading:

Jeremiah 20:7-9

You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped;
you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.
All the day I am an object of laughter;
everyone mocks me.


Whenever I speak, I must cry out,
violence and outrage is my message;
the word of the LORD has brought me
derision and reproach all the day.


I say to myself, I will not mention him,
I will speak in his name no more.
But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,
imprisoned in my bones;
I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.

I am willing to bet that each of us feels this way some times. In fact, it isn't really cool to be a Christian. So we try to keep in it. For example:

• No that isn't my rosary that fell out of my pocket on the ground at school, maybe it's E's. 
• I don't really care what God thinks today.....I am going to do want I feel like.
• I really want to talk to you about Him and all the crazy, awesome things He is doing for us, but I think you will think I am crazy. 
• Could I please just go back to functioning properly when I didn't think about Him all the time!
• Or why can't I talk to you about Him? That's all I really want to do.
• I know you are going through a tough time. You are in pain. What would you think if I told you to look to Him? Because I know that is the only thing that can help...
• Or the ever elusive....Oh it was just some "church thing"....let's just keep it short and simple with no details. 

So as you can see I struggle to hold it all in. Because in reality it is just bursting to get out. It is a fire burning in my heart. Hands down, the best conversations I have ever had have been centered around Him. But then, someone asks me what my bracelet means....I get all nervous. lol I mean I just prayed about this this morning. I prayed to bring souls to You. And then I get all dumb? :)

Anyway, God also reminds us of this in a verse from Romans: 

I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God,
to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.
Do not conform yourselves to this age
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that you may discern what is the will of God,
what is good and pleasing and perfect. 

"Do not conform yourself to this age" 

Well, He said it not me. We must not conform to what others think. You must do all you can to build a stronger relationship with Him. And at the same time lead others to Him. It is not an easy task. It is a scary task. But it is THE task. 

This also reminds me of a Theology on Tap I went to a while back. Fr. Ben talked about why Catholics MUST be different. He's right. If it weren't for the differences that a few Catholics showed me by the things they did (not said), as opposed to holding it in.....well I don't know where I'd be. Fr. Ben also talked about this verse from Matthew:

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Please pray that we have the courage to be lights for others, that we realize that different is good, and that we can NEVER endure holding Love in so that we may share Him openly with others. In Christ, through Mary, amen. 

An Unlikely Date

Today I felt like I just rolled out of bed and said, "Surprise me God. I dare you!"

Because there is just no way I could have seen or even made up today's happenings in my head. It was just a little crazy. But all kinds of good!

I was excited to go to mass today! I mean I usually am, however I hadn't been to Holy Name the past two weeks because of being out of town. And needless to say I was just really ready to come back to my home parish and celebrate mass with my people and with Father Mike. : ) I ended up sitting with Katie today. I met Katie a couple of weeks ago at Theotokos, a women's group that our parish just started up. Which speaking of, I still need to blog about that at some point..... haha But anyway it was good to sit with someone I actually converse with outside of mass. I am really looking forward to getting to know Katie more. She is one of the teachers at the grade school here and is in charge of the cyo activities. This week she is coming over for dinner and to watch the best show ever, Gilmore Girls, on Wednesday night with Emily and I.  It should be good times!

But anyway, Katie and I were chatting after mass about me helping with cyo nights and this old man comes up to us. He was going about 90 miles a minute about taking us to lunch, he asked me if I was a school teacher. I said yes. He said, "Well I have just enought money for the two of you, see you at the college." And then he walks off. Katie kind of smiles at me and says, "Well do you have lunch plans?" I didn't realize this guy was serious. But apparently he was. So Katie and I drive to the college cafeteria. And I am laughing because we are eating lunch in kind of like the twilight zone, a college cafeteria and I realize that when this guy asked if I was a school teacher, he actually meant was I THE school teacher. As in the new school teacher at Holy Name. Whoopsie.

But anyway, I made sure to let Dean, as is his name, know this as soon as I could. And it just got weirder. He had actually been employed by Ark City, Winfield, Dexter, and at some point Holy Name schools. Maybe even Sacred Heart in Ark City. So we had plenty to talk about. Dean has many "hobbies". He has cattle, grows a garden and he is ONE of the only beekeepers in Cowley County.

I say ONE because I happen to know the other one: Mr. Harvey. Oh Dean, had so much to say about Mr. Harvey. Mr. Harvey is kind of similar to Dean, in the fact that they both have huge gardens full of tomatoes and they both have a passion for honeybees. And don't get either of them started on how much we need honeybees to pollinate our crops and vegetable gardens. : )

But the best part of our conversation was when he found out I was the FFA advisor. Because apparently somehow Mr. Harvey gave him some tomatoes that we had started for him in our greenhouse. And the thing about these tomatoes is that they somehow got mislabeled. So his seven rows of tomato plants were actually seven rows of cherry tomato plants. And this man had just bought me lunch! : )

He was definitely quite the character to listen to. Plus, about halfway through lunch, a friend of his, Brent, showed up and chatted with us too. I learned a lot about these two men at lunch. Mostly nothing important. I did learn that Dean's wife is in the veterans home and has Alzheimers. She doesn't know her last name but she is one of the most mobile and active people at the home. I learned that Dean just likes people. I saw him approach a whole table of asian students and chat with them for a good 5 minutes. When he left them, their faces looked exactly the same way I am sure mine looked after being asked to lunch. I am really glad Katie and I could have lunch with Dean and Brent.

Then later that night I was going to go to the cyo adoration they were having. At Holy Name we have adoration on Monday at 8am through Tuesday at 8 am. So this was out of the normal hours. I was excited because I figured this would be an awesome way to start my week but also to get started working more with the high schoolers at Holy Name. I even brought my normal adoration things to do. However, I was pleasantly surprised with evening prayer, and doing the exposition and benediction of the Blessed Sacrament. Complete with incense and awkward singing. : ) It was another first time experience for me.....I had actually never witnessed them put the Host in the monstrance. At least I don't think.....definitely not from 2 rows back! : ) But I do think I remember some of what we did from the Catholic Family Conference. All I know, is that I hope that cyo does this more often and that I have most certaintly had a very fulfilling Sunday.

I must also say this: I loved every single reading today in mass....and Father's homily. I just felt like I got so much learning and reflecting accomplished today. Hopefully, I can find time to blog about those three readings and my thought process some time this week. So thankful for such a blessed day!

Thursday....the best day of the week!

Thursdays really are the best day of the week. Why? Well I think in college there may have been slightly different reasons I enjoyed a good Thursday night, however now........I tend to think this: no matter how much work I have on Thursday, or how late I have to stay up on Thursday, it is going to be okay because tomorrow is Friday. And surely I can make it through one more day. : ) I celebrate Thursday's a lot with my students for this reason. I often remind them, "Just one more day, until you get a lil break guys!"

And seriously, this Thursday did not disappoint. All in all, it was a pretty good second day of class. I was very excited to experience a planning period for the first time in a year. Last year I did not get a planning period, however this year I get one every other day. Which is fantastic! I could have opted for a planning period both days, but then I would have had to drop Floral Design. Which I wasn't willing to do at all, as it would have left many of my seniors without an ag class.

But anyways, my happy of today happened after school was over, after my wonderful planning period, and after my 7 pm FFA officer meeting. I decided to stop by Phil's after my meeting. Then I had to leave again to get a book from a student. But then I finally made it back. I would just like to say God knows what is up. He knows what He is doing.

I got to spend the next two hours of my evening talking teacher talk with Megan and then having some "ice tea" with the boys in the garage. I hope this is how every Thursday night is spent for the rest of the year! The best part is....I had planned to spend about 10 minutes at Phil's, just to get a little of my mail. My auto insurance still gets mailed there......but ended up staying forever. Didn't even get home until after 10:30.

I love my brother, Levi. I have wrote about this before, maybe not on here, but he always says exactly the right things. I don't know what I would do without him. Growing up, Levi and I were kind of paired up. Kami, my older sister, was kind of on her own, although we were and still are pretty close. So it was kind of like Kami, then Kasie and Levi, and then the two little girls, Kaitlyn and Megan. So Levi is definitely the best brother I could have ever have asked for. Plus, he finally asked me about Frank. haha Then there is Clint. Which Clint kind of gets thrown in the Kasie/Levi pairing along with Keith, my other cousin. We all had quite a good time growing up shooting bb guns at each other, playing in the tree line and making up epic good guy/bad guy games.

Funny thing tonight.....walked in the garage to Levi giving Clint a haircut in the garage. Funny stuff! But that pretty much describes their relationship. But tonight just reminded me so much of how I need to be spending my time. This is my family! I really hadn't hung out with Levi and Clint like this since Manhattan. What is the dealio? For realio? 

Heck, Clint and I are even going through some of the same stuff. We talked the typical school talk, Clint is helping with our Ag Issues team.... but then we started talking about all the hangups that come with dating. It was quite entertaining. I have come to the conclusion that we worry and make up so much crap in our heads that it isn't even funny. : ) The things I think of.......ridiculous! But at least it is just not me. : )

So I don't know what to think sometimes. I know that I feel like I keep getting reminders lately from Him. For example, here is a picture I took in my school hallway.....

My school hallway! Why the heck was this in my school hallway? I was not in Wisconsin! But this whole solidarity concept has been on my mind a lot lately. We need people. But really we need Him more than we need people! And I am struggling with that a bit. So how does this solidarity thing really work?

I really feel I was brought closer to Him through the Holy Spirit, working through people. But then I felt scared. Mostly because I didn't know if I could do "this" without certain people. Basically, I was relying on other people more than Him. Which is not such a good thing and I was about to learn a lesson. And I really didn't want to learn this lesson. Mostly, because it really sucks sometimes... but more and more I feel like God is trying to teach me to just rely on Him. And believe me, I sure do put up a fight. So I am left asking this question a lot, "What about solidarity, God?"

So I usually just have this conversation with Him and then end up being really confused as to where to go next. But then I just know this.....there are people out there going through exactly the same thing. Or at least something similar. There are new converts, there are new teachers, single people, my cousin Clint, my brother Levi, my Sojourn friends, a new friend I finally met at Holy Name, my students, all who help can make me a better person. They can help me in my journey. We can help each other get to Heaven. We can help and support each other. We can keep each other sane. But why do I always end up relying on these people too much?

So now I am even more confused on how to not do this. Regardless, I am very blessed to have an evening such as tonight. It was an evening of solidarity. Obviously, I don't have all the kinks worked out. But I feel good that I am thinking about these questions finally. I am starting to be more aware of how the realtionships in my life are all tied to the number one realtionship in my life, Jesus Christ. Yes, God does want us to have these earthly realtionships that seem to satisfy our human natures. However,  we need to keep our hearts set on His realtionship. We need to make sure we are falling in love with Him, even when it is so easy to turn to others for instant relief. I know His plan is going to be indescribable, and CRAZY! However, I am human, and just need to be pushed and prayed for in making sure I turn to Him above all people and things.

School Prayers!!

 Written at two different times. So times may be a little confusing. : )

School is tomorrow!! And I should really just go to sleep because 5:23 is coming way too soon. But I would just like to point out what a difference a day can make.

Let's just say that I have been at it again. In fact, Monday was kinda bad. I just couldn't get past the idea that I wasn't excited for school to start. I just kept remembering that last year at this time I was beyond excited. After each day of school, I would drive home each night, not being able to wait for tomorrow to come so I could go back to school again. Needless to say, I was not at this point. And that worried me. Why? Am I a bad teacher for thinking this? What is wrong with me? Why am I dreading tomorrow?

I didn't even pray about this on Monday. At all. All day I kept thinking I should really talk to God about this or anything really. But I just kept putting it off. Until that evening. I had actually spent a full day at the school working, and had driven home for a bit. Then I remembered I needed something at the school and decided to drive back to AC to get it. I took one of my favorite little back roads called Green's Farm Road. It is perfect for stars, sunsets and windows-rolled-down-feet-on-the-dash kind of driving. As I was nearing AC, I felt ready to pray. So enters the Hike/Bike trail into the scene. For me, it is actually more like the Ponder/Pray trail. :) It was very much needed. After leaving the trail, I felt better than I had felt all day! I still hadn't figured out what was going on with me but I had made it clear I needed help. I could not do this without Him.

And you know what was playing when I got into my car? Times, by Tenth Avenue North. Seriously. :)

So Tuesday. My turn-around day. The little freshmen came to school for orientation. They gave me quite the little pick-me-up. Then my heart was like.....this is why. And then I can't even really begin to tell you how many times I was reminded of this throughout the day and night. He is amazing.

So even though I know this year might be a little tough for me, it will be okay in the bigger picture of things. I definitely don't have everything figured out. However, I see how beautiful it could be and that gives me hope. Things might be a little/ a lot different.....It does make me really sad and it does worry me. Then I also worry about my seniors leaving. I worry about that fact that I feel like I have been pouring my whole self into these kids, and I don't know if it's enough. Enough for who???

So even though I was a little scared of this year, I felt the first inkling of excitement. Just being around those kids and finally having my classrooms all put together made a world of difference. I was really looking forward to adoration that night. It was getting pretty late when I finally finished up at school, but I actually wanted to go home and shower and eat first. I didn't even get to adoration in AC until like 9:45. In fact, I had almost convinced myself to not go because I thought I should be sleeping. :)

Once again- so glad I went. My amigos where there! Then the 10 o'clock person was late. Which after talking to the family that was there and telling them I would wait to leave until the scheduled person got there, I got a good 15 minutes of one-on-one time with Him! This is only the second time ever I have been at adoration alone, and it was, once again, just what I needed. Then when the 10 o'clock person came, it was Wayne. So I chatted with him for a little while about school. It was a good night and I felt more than ready for school the next morning!

So how did the first day go? Different. As expected. But very, very positive. Thank goodness for hugs all day!

Please pray for my students. Please pray that I can be more for them than just another teacher.

Katie Talk

My First Easter: Written January 1st, 2011
-This specific blog post was written during the time period I was converting to Catholicism 


January 1st,  2011

Ahhh today was great! I have definitely still had Catholic/church things on my mind. I know that I have said that I really shouldn’t be worried about what others will think. Afterall, I am a 26 year old responsible adult who is very capable of making these kinds of life decisions. But I still needed to talk to Katie about my plan. Katie, my best friend. I needed to tell Katie before I talked to some other people about it. : )

I just should have known! I should have known she would have been so supportive. Because then I would have told Katie 1 week ago when I visited her in Manhattan...but I chickened out. haha But I did get to talk to her about it tonight. Yes, I was a little bummed that it wasn’t face to face but it turned out perfectly!!

I guess it was just good to share some of those things with my best friend again. She totally understood and actually encouraged the idea. We even joked about how when she went to RCIA with Jacob a few times, how Jacob made fun of her for taking massive amounts of notes. Well I too took massive amounts of notes. haha

We talked about my concerns with not having others to go through the process with, about choosing a sponsor, about how good this would be for me. To give me a break from school. She even understood me, when I told her this is the path I feel God wants me to take. Ahhhhhhhhh! Pure wonderfulness! Pure connections! Shared emotions. Good talks. Love her!!

Looking back on things I wrote, each time I journaled about my concerns with telling people I was converting, I am happy to say they have all been very positive. I think this is true with a lot of things in life. So share things with people; they might just turn out to be super supportive and awesome!

Oh and one other thing. I think the line "to give me a break from school" is kind of funny now. : )Like, I really thought that it would only be a break from school. Can you say clueless? 

Roosevelt Roadrunners Are Lucky Ducks!

I am going to brag on my sister, Megan for a second. She just got all graduated up and is getting ready to start her first year teaching the kindergarten kids of good ol' Ark City! She will be a Roosevelt Roadrunner! : )

I love talking to Megan about teacher things because I can see how excited she is about teaching. New teachers are great to talk to for this reason. Plus, she is elementary education, so I love making her teach me how she teaches kids to sound out words on a beat, or how they teach kids to read, or making her tell me bathroom stories or head lice stories. She has some pretty good crazy stories, that just wouldn't happen to a secondary education teacher. : )

Plus, Megan and I kind of tag team Brynley and Cooper a little bit and try to teach them things. You might hear them say, "Geez guys, how many times are you going to make me count to a hundred?" Oh and I love the time we did the alphabet game with Brynley during Christmas dinner and she was doing "Allie Alligator" and knocked over her drink. She was sooo good at it though and it was pretty much amazing me. Just ask her to do "Minnie Mouse". Her little hands, eating a pretend cookie all while making the letter m sounds.....it's so cute!

Anyway, so we have ourselves a little family of teachers now. It's pretty cool. : ) Back to the story......Megan had been getting ready for school. I asked her if I could come see her room. So last Thursday I went to her classroom excited to see what she had done with it. But it wasn't done and I could see that she was slightly overwhelmed. I can still remember how that first year is.....so much to do. And it is like where do you start? Heck, I still feel that way. : )

But anyway, I told her I would come in the next day too and we'd set her room up. So that is what we did! In fact, about halfway through we called up my other little sister, Kaitie, and she helped too! We didn't get a ton accomplished but I think what we did get done made Megan feel a lot better. Kaitie and I fixed up her word wall and bulletin board and we made Megan organize. Here are some pictures:

BEFORE:  Yes, she has a fireplace in her room! How great is that?!

DURING: Baby tables and chairs!! Thankfully, she had proper scissors. Yes, I made quite the mess.

AFTER: I made Kaitie and Megan sit in the Fish Mouth!! We named the little fish above: Kaitlyn is the little blue guy, Megan is the long blue guy, I am the green fish, Kami is the clam (or perhaps the pearl), Levi is the seahorse and Ben is the pufferfish. Haha Ben! Oh and I just realized I forgot Hannah!!

One last thing, the whole time we were making this fish thing I had that Little Mermaid, Under the Sea song in my head. I hope she plays that song on the first day!