It has been an interesting week. All week long I have kind of felt like I was holding things back or pushing things to the side. In particularly my conversations with Him. It happens.
Monday was labor day, and because of that adoration wasn't held. Tuesday.....the only thing I remember about Tuesday was that I got a letter in the mail. More on that later. Wednesday through Friday nothing super spectacular. I didn't feel very productive all week, the letter was on my mind, and I really didn't feel like I had had good prayer almost all week. I fell asleep either trying to pray the rosary or doing night prayer from my phone every single night. I guess that is my own fault for laying down....
Anyway, I went to mass tonight. Seeking goodness and Love. I sure did find it!
I went to mass at Sacred Heart tonight because I was working at school and also because I wanted to go to confession. (I know......I should really give Fr. Mike a shot at some point!) However, after going to confession tonight and then having a whole homily on forgiveness, I must say I do like Fr. Ruben!
Fr. Ruben must have been reading my mind. He told us about how the root of the word forgiveness comes from the Latin word perdonare. And this means to "give completely without holding back".
Something I don't feel I had really been doing at all this past week. I have definitely been holding back my conversations with Him and doing just enough to get by. What do we think sometimes? On a day-to-day, minute-by-minute, second-by second basis He gives himself freely to us. Completely, all of Him- because we are sinners. And when we go to Him in confession He will forgive us.....completely. No matter what. He is not going to half-heartily forgive one of two of our sins and say oops sorry you have reached your max on that sin.
Lots of different things were randomly popping into my head during mass. Here is one of them-
This whole pardonare thing kind of reminds me of something I meditate on when I pray the rosary and pray about the Crowning of the Thorns. I watched the Passion of the Christ for the first time this past year and I guess for the first time I have really learned more about the Passion. It is so heartbreaking. Mostly, because we are the crowning of the thorns. I am the crowning of the thorns. Everytime I sin, I am mocking Jesus. You may not be able to picture yourself insulting Jesus or making Him wear a crown of thorns. But is that not what we do? And then He turns around and forgives us......He gives Himself to us completely and holds nothing back. That just kind of blows my mind! In a good way. :)
And Surprise! It reminds me of the lyrics to this song: You Loved Me Anyway by Sidewalk Prophets.
Most especially this part:
I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
See now, I am the man who yelled out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking
ground
Yes then, I turned away with a smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
Yes,You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
You love me, yes You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me
Plus, I give you kuddos if you can go to any mass today or tomorrow and not sing the 7 times 70 song in your head. :)
What an awesome lesson He has once again provided for us all! Never forget that He holds nothing back from us, and that we should strive to hold nothing back from Him. Don't bury His grace. Love Him and show this Love to others.
Goodnight! State Fair is calling my name in the A.M.!
No comments:
Post a Comment