Part 2: The Bishop, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and Good ol' Father Kapaun

Last Friday, January 4th, was the feast day of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. I was excited for school to end so I could go to Wichita for the 5:30 mass at St. Francis. I went with a past student of mine, so I was also excited to just celebrate mass with a fellow sister in Christ.

We got there kind of early and there seemed to be quite a few other people there too. Like more than usual. And then even more people showed up. It was almost like having a Sunday mass at Holy Name. Then they did the Entrance Antiphon and the priest's voice was a little different than normal, yet very familiar. The voice actually belonged to Bishop Jackels. What a pleasant surprise! No wonder there were so many people here. Anyway, I kept my cool and remained reverent and then got excited about it after mass. haha

Bishop Jackel's homily was short and sweet and worth repeating. He talked about how Wichita reporters that were covering Fr. Kapaun's canonization process where doing interviews on the East Coast. They found themselves in Emmitsburg, Maryland, which is where the National Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton is built. They decided to stop in and visit. They then concluded if this lady could be a saint for what she did, SURELY Fr. Kapaun should have been a canonized a saint yesterday. I could relate....I even told you last post I wished I had picked a "cooler" saint. I'm glad I was wrong. :)

Then Bishop explained how that kind of comparison on what they both accomplished isn't really fair. We should instead focus on the why. Why did they do what they did? We should follow their example and strive to do the will of God- in whatever situation we find ourselves in. Whether it be a POW camp, or in a convent, or Ark City, America, or insert your place here. We should answer His call to be holy where we are and in the circumstances He has provided. Amen!

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton pray for us!

Part 1: Saint Searching

A couple of months ago I did a little research on my confirmation saint St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. When I first chose St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, I had done just surface research, mainly what 5 minutes of googling can find, on her and a handful of other saints. I knew she was American born, knew that she valued education and that she converted to Catholicism like me. Plus, the real deal breaker was the "Elizabeth" and the "Ann". They are the middle names of my two little sisters. Yes folks, that is seriously why I chose her.

And then about a year after I chose her I was left thinking, "Why didn't I chose a cooler saint?" And I never really learned much more about her.

I guess in the grand scheme of things asking for intercession from a saint is something I am pretty new at. I pray the rosary often and pray the prayer to St. Michael often but hadn't really tried to ask for any other saint's intercession. However, it really is a beautiful thing about our Catholic faith.

This past year, and in particular the last 6 months, I have been struggling with a few things. Normal things but then also things I think converts deal with. Expect a full post about this in a bit. :) Anyway, I was a little fed up with my faith......and decided I was going to figure it out. I thought, "I need to talk to other people who have converted to the Catholic faith!". One problem- I don't know any......and I really don't. I am not sure how every single Catholic person I know is a cradle Catholic but they are. However, I thought about St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. I remembered she was a convert and just knew I could learn something from her.

Turns out she did struggle with converting just as I do. Dealing with family and close friends who question your faith is hard to deal with. I found letters she had written about her struggles and can't wait to read more about them. I just need to find them in book form because electronic book form is hard for me to read.

Then I found something that made me extremely happy:

It's the Memorare in St. Elizabeth Ann Seton's own handwriting. St. Elizabeth Ann Seton died in 1821, which was only about 200 years ago. The Memorare was made popular in the 17th century from Fr. Claude Bernard, who learned it from his father. However, it is thought to have originated in the 15th century as it is found in a much longer prayer. That longer prayer is all in Latin and therefore I am unable to read anything past the word "remember". Cool thing is that makes the Memorare about 600 years old. I am able to pray a prayer that is 600 years old that my confirmation saint prayed too. Not only that, but we have countless other prayers that are even more rich in tradition, with the Our Father taking the cake. We are blessed indeed. It also makes me wonder what the oldest prayer ever is?

Even though I had only had the prayer memorized since mid-May, and then prayed it during the summer a little, finding that handwritten Memorare made me feel connected to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton. Then in October, a priest told me I should try to pray it three times each morning before I started my day. Then I found a very old, "I cast myself at your sacred feet" version. It just keeps popping up. That must be why it is around 600 years later.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton pray for us!

Bryn and Bibles

One time I took Bryn to Sunday mass at St. Jude's in Wichita.

She hated it and never fails to let me know that she never wants to go to church with me again. Bummer. I joke about it with her now, even though I really would love for her to want to go back. Tis life I guess.

Anyway, now that I have officially settled into the "church lady" role in my family, Bryn and I frequently have conversations about God. The cool thing is that often times Kamo is in the same room when these conversations come up. Which then proceed to more grown up conversations about God.

This particular time Bryn was really excited to show me her Bible. I was surprised she had a Bible and in fact I had just bought her one for Christmas. Darn it, I thought. But the Bible she brought was the real deal. It was definitely made for a little kid but still small print and a bit hard for her to read.

So as I was finishing my sloppy joe my sister had so lovely made me, she read to me out of her Bible. And we proceeded with Bible nerd talk. And before you go all crazy and say I gave her too much info, I will call you crazy for two reasons:

1. First off Kami was in the room and she may have looked busy but she was totally listening and piping in here and there.
2. Little kids have amazing minds. They are like sponges. I wish my students wanted to learn as much as Brynley does. Besides the week before she recited Bible verses to me that she has memorized for this thing she goes to at her friend's church.

But it was great. We talked about the Old Testament and the New Testament. We talked about how all the books are important but in the New Testament we learn about Jesus. In fact at that point we talked about the Gospels and then she read out of Luke chapter 2.  She asked such sweet questions like, "What's a shepherd?". She flipped to the front and and asked what "contents" meant. I told her this page showed all the books in the Bible, 73 to be exact. Which on a side note isn't completely accurate because I am sure it was a Protestant Bible. Then she asks, "Well which ones do I have?" That made me kind of laugh because it was cute. "You have all of them!", I told her. She was amazed that 73 books could fit into what looked like one book. 

That day Kami also shared with me that her friend in the new neighborhood they moved into had given her a Bible and a daily devotional type of thing. It was one for moms, so she talked about how much she could relate to it. All in all, I would say we three had a good time Bible-nerding it up.

Here's a pic of Bryn reading the Bible I got her for Christmas to her baby brother.

A Rosary Discussion Goes Awry

Today in Agriscience class one of my students randomly asked about my rosary that I wear. She started off simply enough, "What is that?" 

Then it continued, "Can I see it?" I let her hold it. 

"So how does it work?" I explained it a little. 

Another student, "What saints do you have on it?" hahaha geez kiddos. Well you see...

"What's a saint?" I explained that too.....you can be a saint too! :)

"Why do you pray to Mary?" Explained. 

Is my rosary really that much more interesting than dairy cattle? Yeah, I think so too. 

But then she asked something that took me a little off guard. She was talking about going to church. This particular student is a foster child, so I asked her if she went to church with her foster family or her grandmother, who lives in somewhere semi close to Ark City. She told me that she typically goes with her grandma. Then she asks, "Who do you go to church went?"

"I just go by myself." 

"Why don't you go with your family?"

"I'm the only one in my family, besides my grandma, that is Catholic."

She then looks at me like I am crazy and says, "Well, then why are you Catholic!?".

Why are you Catholic? 

A question that does seem to be popping up more and more lately. At Prayer and Action this summer I remember this is one of the questions we talked about on the first night. However, it was really easy for me to answer. I don't really mean the question wasn't meant for me but it was meant to get young people thinking about taking their faith as their own. Most of them, if not all of them have been Catholics their whole lives. At some point WE all have to choose our faith not our parents or those around us. 

At the Prayer and Action reunion a week or so ago, this question was brought up again in relationship to the Year of Faith. How can I continue to choose to live out my Catholic faith? How can I grow closer to Christ? 

Honestly, it has been something I have been struggling with the past few months. And as my student was asking me that question, I was thinking in my head..... you have no idea what kind of question you just asked me! 

Because in addition to all this talk about choosing my faith I have had the following conversations too: 

Talking to Pastor Stephanie for a good 45 minutes at my sister Megan's wedding about her and her husband mixed marriage. About how she attended mass for awhile because he is Roman Catholic but then how she  chose to become a pastor in the Methodist church. So why are you Catholic, Kasie? 

Having a conversation with one of my sisters about going to church. 

Her- "I really need to start going to church. I need God in my life. I'm going to this new church on    Saturday. Then I am going to try out this other church and then probably go to my friends Lutheran church sometime too."

Me- "You can come to mass with me sometime." 

Her- "No. I don't want to be Catholic."

Note to sister- Neither did I. :)

But I am. And it was the best decision I have ever made. 

It's true there aren't many people in my life that can understand why I like to go to mass in the middle of the week, or get excited over some feast day, or even pray a rosary with. Yes, I want to attend midnight mass on Christmas with my family. Yes, I wish my close friends shared the same beliefs that I do. Yes, I wish they considered going to adoration a good way to pray together. Yes, I want to pray with people. Yes, I even think about stupid things such as how my family would deal with my wedding or my funeral. 

Why am I Catholic? 

How could I not be? The amount of grace and blessings that have entered into my life are too vast to count. There is not a more beautiful thing on this planet. Even if at times I feel alone, I know that God is here and leading my heart closer to Christ. 

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, pray for us! 

The Best Five Minutes

For the past several weeks the best 5 to 10ish minutes of my week happen right before confirmation class on Wednesday nights. Sometimes the time spent here is even more precious than my time spent in adoration.

After setting up for class, I sneak away for a few minutes to the church before the doors get locked. At Holy Name, there is a small side chapel that is attached to the main church. This is where we have adoration on Monday nights, daily mass when school is not in session and it acts like kind of an overflow area for Sunday mass.

But on Wednesday nights the side chapel is dark. The red candles are lit. Jesus is in the tabernacle. And there is no one else around. Well except the choir people in the choir loft. However, the side chapel is just barely/conveniently hidden from the choir loft in such a way that I can listen to their music but they cannot see me. :) I love it. I pray and listen as they practice the Gloria and Holy, Holy, Holy and random mass songs.

And now that it is cold outside it is even more perfect and cozy. For some reason I imagine all the crazy things going on around me, all the struggles, all the normal daily distractions of life being on the outside of that church building. It's literally my sanctuary. For my weekly "Best Five Minutes" I know that God is good.

For this song I know that God is good.

A Glimpse of Glory

Two weekends before my trek to Indianapolis for National FFA Convention I found myself in Lincoln, Nebraska. Growing up a mere five minutes from Oklahoma, this was only the second time in my life that I had made it to the Cornhusker state.

I was going on a retreat and it was going to be with the School Sister's of Christ the King. I was originally supposed to be going with another friend of mine, however plans had changed and I ended up going by myself. When I arrived I quickly picked up on the fact that this was to be a silent retreat. Somehow, both my friend and I had missed that small detail. Regardless, it was definitely exactly what I needed. It was a quiet two days. In fact, I could not wait for that hour or so of recreation we got on that Saturday night. It was actually pretty joyful- the most joyful I had been in awhile- and it was obviously a fruit of the silence. 

I had never been on a silent retreat. I had never prayed that much in my life either. Mass, Liturgy of the hours, adoration, talks and several mediations each day. In fact, I remember sitting in the chapel, feeling like I had no worries floating in my head; I had prayed them all away. I did reach a point on Sunday morning, where I was done. I was tired and I knew there was one more meditation coming up but I wasn't sure if I was going to do it. Maybe I would just sit in the chapel and do nothing. :)

However, after some much needed coffee, I was feeling my second wind coming on. This time we got to pick what ever meditation we wanted from our book. As I was scanning the titles, nothing was catching my eye. Then I saw, "A Glimpse of Glory." Well that sounds awesome! Who wouldn't want a glimpse of Jesus? 

That morning I traveled with Jesus to the top of mountain and witnessed His transfiguration all while remaining in that church pew. :) However, it made me realize how much Jesus does for us still. He knows our weaknesses, our doubts and our fears. But He never leaves us alone. Just as Jesus strengthened Peter, James and John by taking them up to the mountain with Him that day, he does that for me and for you. He knew all the events to come with his crucifixion and knew they would need help keeping their faith. He provided exactly what they needed. 

Sure, this retreat has helped me when I "came down from the mountain", but it also is much more than that. It's the people, opportunities, and seemingly meaningless events that Jesus puts into our lives that help strengthen us everyday. It's the faith and the hope that he will continue to do this out of love for us. Jesus is so good to us and I can't wait to someday get that glimpse of glory and look upon His face. 

Mary's Heart

Last Monday during my adoration hour I decided to do a reflection/meditation out of this book I have. I was reading scripture in Philippians and then in the 2 chapter of Luke.

The scene in Luke was that of Jesus' birth. Definitely a story that most people, myself included, would say they are very familiar with. However, I got to this line, "And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.", and I just couldn't get past it. How could I have missed this before?! The more I thought of this, the more awestruck I became with Mary. This woman is amazing! 

Keep in mind I had just held my weeks-old nephew in my arms the day before. How could Mary hold the infant Jesus in her arms and know what she knew and not go crazy? Then I began to think- when did Mary know that Jesus would die like he did? 

Later that night I had a discussion with a friend, and we both concluded we thought most likely Mary knew a bit later with prophecy of Simeon. Which on a completely non-related side note, it was cool to get some context about Simeon's prophecy since it's used in Night Prayer. Obviously, I could see that it was from Luke when praying Night Prayer but things usually don't click for me until they do. :) 

However, even if when Mary held Jesus in her arms and didn't really have the slightest clue about the heartbreak she would experience later,  she is still amazingly strong. To have that much faith in God to ponder all things just in your heart, is a little hard for my brain to wrap around. And that line still gets to me.....especially when it is practically repeated later in Luke 2:51. Which is after the prophecy and after she lost and then found Jesus in the temple. Not to mention to just imagine you were Mary and holding that baby in your arms. Jesus was completely dependent on her, just like any other baby that comes into this world. Even more beautiful is that she was completely dependent on Him. Jesus was Mary's whole life; from conception to assumption. 

After all this Mary and baby Jesus meditating I was really excited to hold my baby nephew again. On Friday, we all had the day off from school. I went to mass, visited a bookstore, and headed to see my sister and my favorite little people. Ky was a little fussy at first but within 10 minutes he was out cold. I held my sleeping nephew in my arms for about an hour and a half as he got in his nap. Ky has colic and is usually pretty fussy so Kami was really excited this was occurring and asked me if she could shave her legs and clean the bathrooms. haha Meanwhile, with Ky in my arms, I thought about how at one point Jesus was so small and helpless just like him. I tried to imagine how Mary must have felt......I know this is a bit futile but I still tried. :) And as Ky continued napping on my chest, I prayed a rosary for him. It was perfect. The little guy is just so adorable. 

Oh and one last thing, while at the bookstore that day, I came across a holy card with the 7 Sorrows of Mary. Once again, I had heard of this before, but like I said it doesn't click until it does. After what Mary went through, I know that she can and will help us with our sorrows here on earth. What a strong momma we have!