I wrote 90% last Wednesday.....just now getting back to it. : )
A long, long time ago in the faraway kingdom of Ark City I was a high school student "involved" in several activities. Once such activity: FCA. Except tonight, almost ten years later, I attended my first ever FCA Rally. You see, I was pretty much one of those kids that had signed up for it and then disappeared off the face of the earth. I guess I can quit talking about those FFA kids that do this because I was pretty good at it too. : )
But back to this rally. Tonight was pretty beautiful. Today was boooo. Like one of those days when I am like can I please stop doing all this meaningless crap and do something that is beyond me and beyond.....this? However, tonight, well it was pretty beautiful. (again) So it completely made up for my boo day.
A student of mine was giving her testimony. She stood in front of a large group of her peers and adults and spoke about some very real and scary trails she has had in her life. Unfortunately, trials that as a teacher, I know other people in that room went through or are going through to this day.
She stood in front of a large group of people and talked about God. : ) Courageous.
Now I know this was a FCA rally and that is kind of the point of these types of things- but still. As I sat in the audience that night, after one heck of a day, I sat back and was the student for once. It was the first time that day I chilled out, stopped thinking, and just listened. The things my students teach me........
All in all, I just feel beyond blessed to have crossed paths with this young lady.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Mission Fruity Snacks
I am just going to let you in on a little secret. Mission Fruity Snacks is actually code for Mission Go To Mass. : ) And that is just what I did on Tuesday night!
We have this vending machine at school that has single handily made over 90% of the students in our high school addicted to fruity snacks. They just eat them up faster than we can stock the dang machine. Which in turn doesn't make our "energy lady" too happy about a vending machine running without anything in it. But moral of the story is, I "have to" travel to Wichita often to visit our local Sam's Club to keep the fruity snack addiction up.
It's a win-win. They get fruity snacks and I get Jesus. : ) Which in turn makes me a very happy camper. Last night I attended mass at All Saints because I hadn't been there since this summer. The Gospel reading from Luke and the priest's homily actually fit in perfectly with the happenings of my day. Funny how that tends to happen. : )
As far as days go it was a pretty good one. I have two welding classes on Purple days. There are quite a few kids in the first class that typically act like turds. However, they must have decided that the shop is much better than doing work out of a book..... But then there was 4th hour. More specifically 4th hour in the last 10 minutes. They pretty much lacked any common courtesy to our school, the shop, and other people. Which really gets me fired up. Actually, even just thinking about it now makes me mad. : )
So back to the Gospel of Luke 17: 7-10
Attitude of a Servant
Who among you would say to your servant who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field, 'Come here immediately and take your place at table'? Would he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Put on your apron and wait on me while I eat and drink. You may eat and drink when I am finished'? Is he grateful to that servant because he did what he was commanded? So should it be with you. When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do.'"
Do you hear that welding boys, "So should it be with you."?
Now don't get me wrong, I do have some great students. I really do. However, I do get fed up with some of my student's behaviors and thought processes. As a student, I expect you to be able to walk down the hallway without running, hitting people, cussing, and yelling. To me, this isn't something extra you do for your teacher if you really like them or even some crazy, unreasonable request. It is just what you should do. In the reading, the servant did what was expected of him and didn't ask to leave class early or get extra credit because his work was especially good that day. They did it because that is what they were obliged to do. They did it not wanting to get something out of it in return. Some of my students are missing the boat. Big time. I guess what I am saying is, that I am going to give my students a little Bible lesson next class. haha
It should be good times. Until my next fruity snack run!
We have this vending machine at school that has single handily made over 90% of the students in our high school addicted to fruity snacks. They just eat them up faster than we can stock the dang machine. Which in turn doesn't make our "energy lady" too happy about a vending machine running without anything in it. But moral of the story is, I "have to" travel to Wichita often to visit our local Sam's Club to keep the fruity snack addiction up.
It's a win-win. They get fruity snacks and I get Jesus. : ) Which in turn makes me a very happy camper. Last night I attended mass at All Saints because I hadn't been there since this summer. The Gospel reading from Luke and the priest's homily actually fit in perfectly with the happenings of my day. Funny how that tends to happen. : )
As far as days go it was a pretty good one. I have two welding classes on Purple days. There are quite a few kids in the first class that typically act like turds. However, they must have decided that the shop is much better than doing work out of a book..... But then there was 4th hour. More specifically 4th hour in the last 10 minutes. They pretty much lacked any common courtesy to our school, the shop, and other people. Which really gets me fired up. Actually, even just thinking about it now makes me mad. : )
So back to the Gospel of Luke 17: 7-10
Attitude of a Servant
Who among you would say to your servant who has just come in from plowing or tending sheep in the field, 'Come here immediately and take your place at table'? Would he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Put on your apron and wait on me while I eat and drink. You may eat and drink when I am finished'? Is he grateful to that servant because he did what he was commanded? So should it be with you. When you have done all you have been commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants; we have done what we were obliged to do.'"
Do you hear that welding boys, "So should it be with you."?
Now don't get me wrong, I do have some great students. I really do. However, I do get fed up with some of my student's behaviors and thought processes. As a student, I expect you to be able to walk down the hallway without running, hitting people, cussing, and yelling. To me, this isn't something extra you do for your teacher if you really like them or even some crazy, unreasonable request. It is just what you should do. In the reading, the servant did what was expected of him and didn't ask to leave class early or get extra credit because his work was especially good that day. They did it because that is what they were obliged to do. They did it not wanting to get something out of it in return. Some of my students are missing the boat. Big time. I guess what I am saying is, that I am going to give my students a little Bible lesson next class. haha
It should be good times. Until my next fruity snack run!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Just Shut Up
Being human is hard sometimes. I think that being human the past few weeks has been particularly hard for me. It doesn't really matter why. Mostly, because we can all relate in some shape or form. We all have our little daily battles, that might turn into weeks, months and maybe even year-long battles. I have definitely reached a point where I am just weary. I am just tired, in about every way you could think of- of trying to fix it, trying to figure it out, and trying to go back. It's funny, in the ironic kind of way, because I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide my words, thoughts and actions and then I try to fix them. Over and over and over again. No wonder I feel this way.
So that is exactly what I told Fr. Mike this morning in confession. So two things to be happy about with that sentence:
1. I got to go to confession! It felt great and was exactly what I had been needing to do....
2. I finally went to Fr. Mike! : ) For some reason I have held this fear about going to him and I seem to go to every other priest in the world but Father Mike. It was good to hear from him for once. He was helpful.
I told him I don't really understand. I want to so badly to forget about my will and to just go with God's plan. To stop thinking about how I want things in my life to happen. I definitely try. But I also definitely have moments when I know I shouldn't be doing something but I still do it. And mostly I am just tired of doubting so much. I am confused about HOW to listen. About HOW to make sure I am not just following my will.
So how can I let myself be guided by the Holy Spirit? How can I listen? How will I know it's the Holy Spirit? I don't really know yet......... : ) I know, if only the world's problems could be solved by one confession. : ) But hey, I am a work in progress.
Here is what helped: Father Mike told me I needed to "just shut up sometimes". This made me smile, mostly because those are the words he used and because I think he is right. And I think if you know me, that would make you laugh too. He was like no amount of book-reading, talking to people, or constantly praying about is going to help if you never shut up to listen to Him trying to talk back to you.
A little side-story----- when I first started going to adoration last Lent, I thought it was strangely/uncomfortably quiet in the chapel. It was way too quiet for me. So I'd bring my iPod and listen to music. : ) Not like Eminem or anything.....you know a little Needtobreathe or Brandon Heath. But anyway, after a couple of month's I stopped that. Then most recently, the two Monday's before National Convention, I was asked to cover an adoration hour from 11pm-12. Which I quickly said yes to, because I love going to adoration and I can count on one hand the number of times I have been in solitude during adoration. So I was super excited for some great adoration time. I had actually been thinking of what to do with my time and had come to the conclusion to just sit there. To "just shut up" as Fr. Mike would say. It lasted for a bit......... and then I just ended up praying and reading. haha So I might have a slight problem here.
Well.....it seems that I am to try that again. : ) I mean, He already knows how I feel. He knows every little thing that I do. And I know He's trying to help me. Even if I don't like what He is saying. So I can tell Him again for the thousandth time, or I can try to listen again. Even if it does take me two months. : ) I am already excited for adoration this week!
So next time you pray, I encourage you to just shut up and tune in to what He is saying too. Listen and do. Don't listen and reject. Make sure your relationship with Him is a two-way conversation. Just shut up.
In Christ, Through Mary.
So that is exactly what I told Fr. Mike this morning in confession. So two things to be happy about with that sentence:
1. I got to go to confession! It felt great and was exactly what I had been needing to do....
2. I finally went to Fr. Mike! : ) For some reason I have held this fear about going to him and I seem to go to every other priest in the world but Father Mike. It was good to hear from him for once. He was helpful.
I told him I don't really understand. I want to so badly to forget about my will and to just go with God's plan. To stop thinking about how I want things in my life to happen. I definitely try. But I also definitely have moments when I know I shouldn't be doing something but I still do it. And mostly I am just tired of doubting so much. I am confused about HOW to listen. About HOW to make sure I am not just following my will.
So how can I let myself be guided by the Holy Spirit? How can I listen? How will I know it's the Holy Spirit? I don't really know yet......... : ) I know, if only the world's problems could be solved by one confession. : ) But hey, I am a work in progress.
Here is what helped: Father Mike told me I needed to "just shut up sometimes". This made me smile, mostly because those are the words he used and because I think he is right. And I think if you know me, that would make you laugh too. He was like no amount of book-reading, talking to people, or constantly praying about is going to help if you never shut up to listen to Him trying to talk back to you.
A little side-story----- when I first started going to adoration last Lent, I thought it was strangely/uncomfortably quiet in the chapel. It was way too quiet for me. So I'd bring my iPod and listen to music. : ) Not like Eminem or anything.....you know a little Needtobreathe or Brandon Heath. But anyway, after a couple of month's I stopped that. Then most recently, the two Monday's before National Convention, I was asked to cover an adoration hour from 11pm-12. Which I quickly said yes to, because I love going to adoration and I can count on one hand the number of times I have been in solitude during adoration. So I was super excited for some great adoration time. I had actually been thinking of what to do with my time and had come to the conclusion to just sit there. To "just shut up" as Fr. Mike would say. It lasted for a bit......... and then I just ended up praying and reading. haha So I might have a slight problem here.
Well.....it seems that I am to try that again. : ) I mean, He already knows how I feel. He knows every little thing that I do. And I know He's trying to help me. Even if I don't like what He is saying. So I can tell Him again for the thousandth time, or I can try to listen again. Even if it does take me two months. : ) I am already excited for adoration this week!
So next time you pray, I encourage you to just shut up and tune in to what He is saying too. Listen and do. Don't listen and reject. Make sure your relationship with Him is a two-way conversation. Just shut up.
In Christ, Through Mary.
Monday, October 17, 2011
The Great Discovery
Oh man, what a day. I woke up…….kind of confused. Got up and realized it was 7:31. Seven thirty-one!!! I am pretty sure I spouted out more cuss words this morning than I have all month, maybe my whole life. It was not good. Haha
You see on most days, I wake up by 5:45 and leave the house by 6:30 at the latest. Drive to school, get my morning prayers in, and make it to the high school between 6:45 and 7- depending on the route I take. But today I had to drive straight to the middle school, without any of things I usually bring from the high school. I arrived just as the bell rang, looking very, very beautiful and without anything. lol
Middle school was good though. My students were understanding and we still learned a lot about plants! : ) After that, I finally got to shower! Went to my Mom and Kaitie’s to get my shower in so I wouldn’t be so scrubby tonight at P/T Conferences. Then at the high school, let’s just say that my patience was tested all day and I am not sure I passed the test with flying colors. But I did try. J
Currently, I am just writing this at P/T Conferences and waiting on a few parents to show up. All in all, I am just really ready to get to Indianapolis for National FFA Convention! It is sure to be a great trip!
But last night…… I discovered something really cool about the rosary. Now I know what I discovered is REALLY obvious but I was pretty excited when I finally connected the dots. And to tell you the truth that is why I love my faith. I know that no matter how much I think I might know about the Catholic faith, there will ALWAYS be more. I can never stop growing in my relationship with Him. I just can’t get over how cool this fact is!! Ahhhhh!! Anyway….. more on my discovery soon. Oh the suspense.
So this month, October, is the month of the rosary. So we, as Catholics, are encouraged to pray the rosary daily. Which I am totally eating up and…….definitely trying my best to do this month. A friend texted me a couple of Friday’s ago wishing me a Happy Our Lady of the Rosary day and encouraged me to look up the story. So look up the story I did:
“Our Lady of the Rosary
This feast was instituted by Pope St. Pius V in thanksgiving for the great naval victory over the Turks at the battle of Lepanto on this day in the year 1570, a favor due to the recitation of the Rosary. This victory saved Europe from being overrun by the forces of Islam.”
This feast was instituted by Pope St. Pius V in thanksgiving for the great naval victory over the Turks at the battle of Lepanto on this day in the year 1570, a favor due to the recitation of the Rosary. This victory saved Europe from being overrun by the forces of Islam.”
So this text message, and further “Catholic-nerd-digging” led me to this idea: “I wonder what it is like to pray the full rosary?” I knew that the rosary had developed a lot over the centuries and started out as a way to count “Our Fathers”. Then over time it developed into what we say today. In fact, what we say and meditate on today isn’t even usually the full 150 Hail Marys or Our Fathers. We are kind of slackers. : ) We usually ponder just one, of the now four, mysteries of the life of Jesus and call it good.
So I was really happy that this text sent me into google-mode and reintroduced me to some of the rosary history. Mostly because it gave me this great idea to pray all four mysteries in one setting. Which I finally got the opportunity to do last night!
On to my “great” discovery! I had my little rosary book all laid out in front of me, to make sure I didn’t forget any and to make sure I was thinking about the right things. I just went into the order of the book: Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful and Glorious. I had just finished the last Sorrowful mystery, the crucifixion of Jesus. And had started the first mystery of the Glorious mystery, the resurrection of Jesus. And it clicked! It was all IN ORDER and told the whole story of Jesus’ life. So yes, I technically knew this, but it didn’t really click until I said all of the mysteries all together. Light bulb! I am not sure why this made me so happy but it did and praying the full rosary was well worth it!! Plus, I just feel awesomely ready for my week in Indy now. : )
Oh and I really hope saying a full rosary doesn't cause me to oversleep every day. : ) But it sure was a peaceful sleep!!
Oh and I really hope saying a full rosary doesn't cause me to oversleep every day. : ) But it sure was a peaceful sleep!!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Kinda like welding....kinda like church....
This past Friday I "finished" my second stained glass project. I had planned on going to Wichita that night but then just ended up eating El Magueys with Kamo and the kids and then worked on my project until about 10:30 that night! It was pretty much exactly what I needed. : )
So here it is:
So when I was working on this, James, the night janitor came by. He talked for a while and said "Oh, kinda like church? " I was like, well yeah I guess so. : )
Then my roomie, was looking at it and she said "Oh, kinda like welding?" I was like, well yeah I guess so. :)
It actually did get me a little more excited about welding..........
Anyway, Happy Monday!
So here it is:
 |
| Right after I foil and centered the pieces. |
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| "Tacked" |
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| After the initial soldering of the front, you can see what happens to the back. |
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| Front before fixing it! |
 | |||||
| Done! Well almost. A few touch-ups, add the black patina, and then a frame will finish her off! |
Then my roomie, was looking at it and she said "Oh, kinda like welding?" I was like, well yeah I guess so. :)
It actually did get me a little more excited about welding..........
Anyway, Happy Monday!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Peaceful Pictures
The Shire, Kansas style? I think so! :)
Peace
Awwww Sundays! Today was a great day. :)
And let's just be honest here, it was mostly because mass was completely awesome today! The little kids sang, the second reading from Philippians is one of my favorites, and I just felt surrounded by beautiful things. Beautiful people, beautiful windows, and a crazy, beautiful building.
So back to Philippians........
Philippians 4:6-9
"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you. "
So I really didn't come across this (or really much scripture) until earlier this year. So it is cool when I start recognizing my favorite bits every now and then. : ) The above reading was in this Lent devotional book that I was reading during Lent and I read this passage a couple of days after my Grandpa Selenke's funeral. After all the craziness of this next story. :)
There was a day in my life, actually the day of his funeral that I felt like this happened. Like EXACTLY. It was crazy. Like, that day "the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" really happened to me. So I thought it would only be fitting to share my "peace" story! It is probably one of my favorite things I have ever written.
And just to reiterate the fact that I this happened and I blogged about it before I had ever really seen Philippians 4:6-9. Just the things I describe that day are the very things He is telling us to think about. I talked about all the beautiful things I saw on my walk that He was romancing me with that day. He showered down on me so many beautiful things to guard my heart and mind on a very sorrowful, hard day. I focused completely on Him. No wonder I was so peaceful.
It is an awesome reminder for someone who has a brain that won't shut off. Don't fret so much, self. You did it once and remember how awesome that felt!? lol
Peace out!
And let's just be honest here, it was mostly because mass was completely awesome today! The little kids sang, the second reading from Philippians is one of my favorites, and I just felt surrounded by beautiful things. Beautiful people, beautiful windows, and a crazy, beautiful building.
So back to Philippians........
Philippians 4:6-9
"Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your request known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you. "
So I really didn't come across this (or really much scripture) until earlier this year. So it is cool when I start recognizing my favorite bits every now and then. : ) The above reading was in this Lent devotional book that I was reading during Lent and I read this passage a couple of days after my Grandpa Selenke's funeral. After all the craziness of this next story. :)
There was a day in my life, actually the day of his funeral that I felt like this happened. Like EXACTLY. It was crazy. Like, that day "the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" really happened to me. So I thought it would only be fitting to share my "peace" story! It is probably one of my favorite things I have ever written.
I am not supposed to feel this way. Not today. Today I am supposed to feel lost, confused, and sad beyond reason. Instead, I just can’t stop smiling.
Days like today are definitely a gift. Days like today make me wonder how people go through life not believing in God. I say this because all day long, I felt Him. There were times today when I was sad. I missed my Grandpa; I imagined him just showing up, telling some stories, giving me a hard time and everything just being a dream. I was sad when I saw my Grandma weep, or when I hugged my Nannie. But I never felt alone. And not because I was surrounded by my family.
I remember my Papa’s funeral. How I felt sitting in that church. How I felt more at home than ever before. That day, I was beginning to listen. Today it was truly a blessing to have my Grandpa’s funeral mass at Holy Name. My church. My home. It was just so comforting knowing that the same priest that was burying my Grandpa would be baptizing me in a couple of weeks, in that very place. I felt calm and peaceful all day. I felt like I was so at home and in the exact place I was supposed to be. I felt as if my ears and eyes were wide open. He must have been right by me all day long.
Later that day I decided to go walk and pray. So I think this makes a total of three times I’ve been to that hike/bike trail. Today was so very much amazing. I didn’t even listen to music the whole time because it was so very unnecessary. Not three minutes into my walk, I felt so very peaceful. I was walking with my face to the sky. I couldn’t help but noticed how the cottonwoods were so alive at the tops of the trees and how their buds dwindled from there. I thought it was beautiful how they weren’t quite all leaves yet but just starting to come back to life again….so green at the top against the bright blue sky. Then the clouds! It was simply amazing.....I was all sorts of smiles. I bet I would have been a sight to see. I went to my spot by the river bank. I watched the fish jump, watched the wind blow the lone tree on an island in the water, and I prayed. I didn’t want my prayers to end.
Then I got up and decided to walk some more. On the remaining walk I experienced peace like never before. If you look up peace in the dictionary it talks about freedom of mind from annoyances and disturbances. It takes about stillness. It talks about being untroubled and content. Like are we really allowed to feel this way? Because I don’t think I truly understood peace until today. Shoot, I probably still have no idea but regardless it was so wonderful. I was so happy. Beyond happy. I saw beautiful thing after beautiful thing appear right before me. There were tufts of green, green grass that carpeted the ground. There were squirrels barking in the trees. There was the moon in the middle of the bright blue sky. Nests. Mushrooms. Purple flowers. AMAZING trees along the trail. I know I am the biggest nerd ever, so BMH beforehand…..I felt like I was in some Lord of the Rings book walking through The Shire. I had never been to this section of the trails before and it was simply breathtaking. I felt like Jesus and my Grandpas were right beside me walking down that path.
I kept thinking I shouldn’t feel so good. But then smiling and laughing because it didn’t matter what I thought. I wanted to stop along the path, lay down, kick my legs up and down with happiness and stay there forever. I don’t think I have ever felt so blessed and thankful than I was feeling. I felt like I could have any conversation with Him that I wanted and that he was listening and talking back. It was amazing. I have really never wanted to cry because I was so happy. But the myth is true…it does happen. ;) Out of all the tears I have cried that past few days, I was crying because I couldn’t believe how good He was. Tears and a smile from here to the moon. God is soooooo good to us. I just kept praying please let my Grandma feel this way sometime soon.
I think that moments like these are as close to peace as we will ever get to on earth. Just imagine what true peace is going to feel think. Ahhh shivers. And when you think about that and then you know your loved ones are experiencing that peace a million trillion times over, you can’t help but be beyond happy.
But as the end of my walk came to an end, and as I got closer to civilization, my car, and the bypass, I started to think about tomorrow, the next week, the next couple of months. We may not get many of these peaceful moments. The cold hard truth is that we will not feel like this every day. We have to remember them though. I know that I will have some stressful days, some hard days, and some straight up stupid days in my future. Days when I will try so hard to feel Him and be so frustrated that I can’t. Days when I will not want to feel Him…..because I am dumb. Days when I will feel like quitting and giving up. But on those days, my walk with my Grandpa’s is going to get me through them. I have to remember that peace I felt and look forward to feeling it again.
Ever since I can remember, my Grandparents would stand at their door, or the end of their driveway and wave and wave and wave at us as we drove away from visiting them. They never stopped waving and we never stopped waving until we could no longer see them. Our hands would be out the windows and we’d be turned around in our seats to wave goodbye to them. Still to this day, they continue this even though we are all grown up. Grandma is the biggest waver. Grandpa had his thing too though. He would always say peace and wave with the peace sign as we drove away. So we’d alternate between the peace sign and a wave as we drove down the road. I think Grandpa was peace signing me the whole day today. Ahhhh what a feeling!
And just to reiterate the fact that I this happened and I blogged about it before I had ever really seen Philippians 4:6-9. Just the things I describe that day are the very things He is telling us to think about. I talked about all the beautiful things I saw on my walk that He was romancing me with that day. He showered down on me so many beautiful things to guard my heart and mind on a very sorrowful, hard day. I focused completely on Him. No wonder I was so peaceful.
It is an awesome reminder for someone who has a brain that won't shut off. Don't fret so much, self. You did it once and remember how awesome that felt!? lol
Peace out!
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